World Citizens
by SleazyJeezy
Summary: While out on an expedition, Levi encounters something he never thought he would see - an unknown human wondering freely outside of the walls. Who is this mystery person and are they friend, or foe? This story centers around Levi and an original character (male) pairing, and though it is in canon universe, DOES take liberties with currently unknown aspects. Rated M later chapters!
1. Chance Meeting

Chapter 1 – Chance Meeting 

_Levi_

I awake at the usual time. I slowly open my hazy eyes and suck in the moist air. It's still dark in my small room, the sun hardly peeking above the horizon. The ever noisy birds outside are quiet, and even the kitchens have yet to fire up their ovens; another night gone with little sleep to show for it.

The bed creaks noisily as I stand reluctantly, resigned to my fate. Before I have even properly yawned or stretched, I reach down to my bed to complete the first duty of the morning. I neatly fold the corners of my sheets and decorate the tops with my wrinkle-free blanket. Perfection. I shake the sleep from my limbs and try to ignore the feeling of age in my bones.

Sighing, I make my way to the mirror hanging above the small writing desk. I straighten my hair to its usual parting, grunting at the bags under my eyes. The room is adorned by only this desk and the bed, with one small nightstand beside it. I feel a bit claustrophobic, and it always smells musty despite my thorough cleanings. I impatiently await the day we return to our previous headquarters, where the rooms are larger and some even have a private washroom attached. This thought brings me back to focus.

_Being late isn't exactly a problem when you never sleep in… _I think with great annoyance. Despite that, I decide to start anyway. It was going to be a long day.

The best thing about awakening before anyone else was the solitary use of the showers. Never would I need to deal with the pains of group bathing, constantly avoiding touching anything or anyone for fear of their filth. I had my own corner that I personally cleaned and inspected every morning before stepping under the water. I found the solitude relaxing as the hardly-warm water ran over me. I allowed myself a pleased sigh, and a small smirk, while no one was around to witness it. The soap provided to us is weak, with almost no scent. I always lather twice, once never feeling clean enough for even a normal person's tastes. While the water runs over my newly awakened muscles, I stretch just enough to feel the ache and get my blood running. The water begins to run cold.

I towel off thoroughly; the thought of walking around in a damp uniform bringing back my scowl. The many straps and buckles that once took so long to adorn are now like a second skin.  
It takes me only a few minutes before I am staring at a perfectly uniformed soldier in the misty, shabby mirror. I straighten my cravat and exit the showers just as the loud footsteps of dirty subordinates reach the hall.

"Heichou! Beat us again, did you!?" a wiry boy no more than 17 with a shaved head calls after me. His friends laugh as they all stomp into the showers. The hall is wide and echoes the ruckus easily, but the boys don't seem to give it any thought.

I ignore them pointedly and head to the mess hall at the other end of the first floor.

I manage a few minutes of silence during breakfast before the slow trickle of people turns into a flood of conversations and clacking silverware. A few brave souls sit at my table and attempt conversation. Some inquire how I slept, or how I liked this morning's 'slop'. Giving my usual nonchalance an edgy undertone helps to contain the group at my table to a bearable rumble, and I make it through the notions without too much effort.

_Why must I listen to this drabble? Does no one else take the day of an expedition seriously!? Damn brats._

Swiftly ignoring conversation and successfully finishing my tea, I clean my tray and hands respectively. I steel my resolve and adorn my best scowl as I walk back down the hall and up the stairs to meet with my Commander. His room is on the third floor of the building, that being the topmost and final floor. The other rooms on this floor were occupied by nothing more than dusty furniture and other household goods not currently needed by The Regiment. Erwin had requested a room on the top floor, but swiftly denied any others the use of the rest. He seemed to enjoy his privacy lately, and I didn't question him. Those of us bearing higher ranks received rooms on the second floor, which were smaller than the third floor but allowed us the privacy that a first floor bunker would not. I don't particularly mind sharing space with others, as long as they are clean; however the chance to avoid conversation would be slim in such a situation. A small part of me is reminded not to take my small and shabby room for granted too often.

The sounds of my footsteps bounce from the walls and I come to a stop just outside the only dusted door. I give pause, and then rap dully on the wood.

As it swings open, the tall frame of my commander fills the void. His blonde hair and blue eyes shine from within the darkened room. "Levi! Have a seat." He says sternly, but maintains a cheery face, acting as if he couldn't hear me approaching in the quiet hall.

I promptly avoid the seat he is gesturing at and instead prop myself against the wall, allowing a fine view of the table in the center of the room. Erwin just smirks and ignores my intolerance.

"Where is everyone?" I ask, not really interested in their whereabouts but wanting to get this lousy briefing over with.

He doesn't look away from the papers on the table; meticulously tracing pathways over the map. "Hange is on cleaning duty for that stint the other evening. I'm not sure where Ness is, most likely in the stables. I didn't bother to call any others. Not important. Today's formation will revolve around two groups." He gestures to the map and his latest sketch of formations. I allow myself to step closer and inspect it.

There are two larger groups consisting of 5 sub groups, each spread in a pointed ark much like birds in flight. I smirk inwardly at his artistic depiction.

Erwin continues, "You will command the right flank; I will left, along with Hange. We will proceed in two groups for easy maneuvering. Smoke flares will be used to maintain proper course. Our mission today is merely reconnaissance and survival. We will observe the Titans in an environment undisturbed by humans. When we are spotted we are to use evasive tactics only. If a situation arises in which the enemy must be engaged, do so with care. I want you with your squad at all times if you can help it, but in the case that you must separate, designate a new leader. In your case, I would recommend Ness. Let's make this a success. Understood?"

I was surprised with this tactic. He seemed more cautious than usual. I can only grunt my agreement as we part ways.

As the bell tolls loudly throughout Shiganshina, I feel my horse walking idly beneath me. I hate the smell of horses, and no matter how often I tend to mine, she always smells of the stable she dwells from. Despite that, I enjoy the animals otherwise. In the few moments I get of peace, I catch myself feeding her sugar cubes and allowing her to lick the grains off of my fingers.

Hange's voice snaps me out of my reverie. "What kind of Titans do you think we can study today!? What sort of faces would they make if I greet them…. THE EXCITEMENT IS TOO MUCH!" Hange's face is contorted in a perverse pleasure, and I think I spot some blood from under their scrunched nose. Suddenly, Hange throws two slender arms with large hands into the air, and almost falls backwards off of the horse; long hair flying in front of thick glasses. "WOAHAHAHAHA!"

"I am surprised your obnoxious voice doesn't chase them all away as soon as we leave the gate." I mutter under my breath. Unfortunately, I am heard regardless and receive a teasing smile from Hange beside me.

Erwin's voice is heard over the crowd.

"LISTEN UP! Today, we will succeed! Let us reach out to Humanity's first victory! FORWARD!"

The troops charge through the gate as soon as it has opened enough to fit us. The sound of hooves and nervous chatter fill my ears as we split into respective groups according to formation. I give a silent nod to Erwin in thanks for taking Hange into his group, and lead my own squad towards the right, Ness sticking close to my right. Recalling the map from the morning, we are to head South-West in an arc towards a known group of tall buildings amidst a scattered forest, and then we are to circle around and head back. The ruins of over 100 years ago still stand, and serve as adequate leverage for 3D maneuvering. The landmark ruin town is still many miles away, but it doesn't take long to get into the rhythm of our formation. We stay parallel with Erwin's group, maintaining a distance of one klick.

Things are progressing smoothly; we travel for about 10 minutes while successfully avoiding many Titans. I take note of a few Titans we pass, idling away peacefully. They peek around rocks and trees, and even into buildings long empty, looking for humans to devour. _Worthless creatures._ The distance between the two flanks grows greater as we split to move around what was once a small village. At that moment, a soldier on the very right of me, some 10 yards away, fires a red flare. This means a Titan is closing in. _Fast._

I send the soldier nearest me towards the flare, instructing him to assist with the defeat of the Titan. I refuse to lose a single soldier while trying to 'avoid' a Titan headed straight to our center. I can see the Titan in my peripherals, but command the remaining troops onwards. Hopefully, the small group and the messenger I sent can handle it.

I hear another thunderous clack, and see that a red flare has again been fired, this time from Erwin's flank, miles to the left. The moment of distraction causes me to drift in that direction for a time, until my group has almost combined with the group immediate left of us. When they spot me, they shoot a wary glance towards us.

"Ignore all flares but those on our side. We cannot split up any further than we are. Concentrate only on the Titans and observe. If they engage, do your best to avoid. Fire flares only in the event that a fight is unavoidable." I have to raise my voice higher than I like, but they nod in agreement and yell a solid, "Understood!"

As I drift back into position, I take note that the group from the right has yet to return from their confrontation. Minutes have passed. _Shit._

I instruct the others to continue onward without me, that I will rejoin them once I have confirmed the situation. Slowing my horse, I arch out of formation and head backwards a ways. I find the remains of the Titan, defeated, along with 3 soldiers and a horse; all stuck bloodily to the ground as if crushed. I curse inwardly, and pray the fourth soldier, my messenger from before, made it away safely and not into the bowels of the beast. The steam is suffocating and I turn my head in an attempt to find cleaner air.

Something catches my eye in the distance towards the West. It looks to be one of the horses, but it is unusually far out. I ignore the instinct to leave it and return to my garrison; instead, choosing to pursue it. Something doesn't feel right to me. As I gain speed, thankful for once that my small stature allows me to move faster, I notice something that almost causes me to stop cold in my tracks. _Almost._

_There is someone RIDING that horse….._ _Is it the messenger?_ I strain my eyes as best I can and desperately try to catch up. When I catch a better glimpse, I begin to call out and then stop myself midway. _That can't be! They appear to be wearing a cloak, but it bears no insignia…. This cannot be the missing messenger._

Immediately, I am struck with a nervous agitation that I have not felt in years.. _Who is this person? Are they friend, or foe?_

All I can hear are my own confused thoughts and the thump of my horse's hooves in the dirt. The wind whips at my face, and I can already feel the dust sticking to the sweat of my brow. I duck lower on my horse and urge her to go faster, already approaching her limit.

As I close in behind the horse, it occurs to me that the rider must not notice me. I still have a distance to cover, but my eyesight does not fail me now. The cloak does in fact bear an insignia, but it is so worn and faded on the brown cloth that there would be no way to know what it is. The cloak is much longer than our standard military issue ones, and the color is definitely off. I am riding towards the sun, which now falls to the West as the afternoon moves on. I brace my eyes from the brightness, and spot the horse better. It is dappled, displaying brown and white spots on the rear. Dappled horses are a rare sight for the military, as most of the colored horses have been bred out in the past 100 years. Almost all horses are now solid brown or black. Even Erwin had to fight hard and scheme a great deal to acquire his trademark white horse. _Fucking knight in shining armor, isn't he?_

The rider and horse are quickly approaching a coming group of trees, and I begin to worry that I will lose them. I won't risk losing track of my own garrison, now a few miles behind me. Against my better instincts, I call out.

"OI! STOP NOW BEFORE I HAVE TO KILL YOU."

A moment passes where it seems the rider hasn't heard me or is ignoring me. I keep my pace and inhale a new breath; ready to scream again. I see the distant head turn, blatant shock written all over their face. _It _IS _a man, but indeed not the messenger._ He pulls his horse to a quick stop, and turns it so that he can look my way. Much to my embarrassment, _I wasn't thinking he would actually fucking stop what the hell OH SHI-_

I collide right into him, our horses crying out and tumbling. I feel the ground come up to meet me with a painful shock to my ribcage; I am vaguely aware of the other man's body next to me. The loud collision of our bodies in the dirt is accompanied by a great billow of dust and debris. There's a great thunderbolt of pain in my side as I sit up, coughing and waving away the sand. I don't have time to worry about being filthy, and I've never minded an injury. My head turns from side to side, searching for the man; before I know what is happening, I feel a pair of arms wrap tightly around my throat and squeeze.

The breath in my throat is immediately caught, and I feel the blood rushing to my cheeks in an instant.

I am trapped.

_And not breathing._

AUTHOR NOTES

I hope everyone enjoyed my first chapter! This is my first ever fanfic, and I hope you will support me! Ja~


	2. Cooperation

Chapter 2 – Cooperation 

_Levi_

I throw my hands up to the arms around my neck and desperately pull at them. I catch little bits of air in between movements and I am vaguely aware of the stranger yelling something. My body is being wracked back and forth until finally I give under his weight and fall to the earth beneath him. The body heat is just as suffocating as the arms around me, and I feel faint. His grip loosens but doesn't leave my shoulders, and as I regain my breath my eyes come into hazy recognition.

I am staring directly into bright green eyes, and as I look down my eyes are met with a wide smile_. The bastard is smiling. _It is only then that I focus in on him, and realize he has been speaking this entire time. My ears feel as if they are full water. The look on my face is surely blank, and after a moment the man goes silent, his expression full of concern.

He waves a hand in front of my face, finally lifting off of me and kneeling beside me. "Hellloooo!? Are you alright? I am so sorry!" He almost looks like he's going to cry, so I pull myself together and sit up. My ears begin to feel normal again as my breath returns, and the sounds around me begin growing louder until I can hear.

With a grunt, I finally speak. "What the fuck? You scared me; I thought I was going to die!"

"Please forgive me! I am just so _happy_! I can't believe I have finally found you. I mean I have been looking for so LONG, and I was beginning to lose _hope. _I mean, _obvio-_" He cuts himself off and stares at me intently. "Are you alright?"

"….What the fuck are you talking about? Who are you?" I am so stunned by the strange man that I can't put together any serious thoughts. A moment ago I was sure he was trying to _kill_ me, and now he is apologizing.

He sits back on his ankles and rubs a hand through his long, wavy hair. With a sigh that seemed much overdue, he smiled softly and began speaking quietly. "My name is Michael. I have been alone out here for over 3 years. I've dreamed of the day that I would find another human being, and when I heard a voice calling behind me I was _sure_ that I had finally lost it. It wouldn't be the first time I thought I heard voices…. but here you are! You're real and solid and _beautiful_!"

_Beautiful!? No one has ever said anything like that to me before. What is his deal!?_

He stammers for a moment before continuing, "I mean- well, just seeing another person is so overwhelming…. I didn't mean to embrace you and scare you. Please forgive me, sir!"

I blinked a few good times and took a silent moment to gather my thoughts. Was this guy fucking with me?

"You have been out here _ALONE_ for _THREE YEARS?"_ I ask skeptically.

"Yes." He states plainly. "At least, I think. I've no idea what fucking day it is anymore." The tone in his voice has become lighter, and he seems to be talking more to himself than to me.

My face has no doubt returned to an angry scowl, but he seems unfazed. He continues to gawk at me shamelessly, and a real tear falls down his cheek. Startled, I stand and offer him a hand. He takes it immediately, but doesn't move his gaze from it's current sweep of my body.

"I thought you were trying to choke me. I am not accustomed to being over taken and caught off guard. Consider yourself lucky, _I_ could have _killed _you." I approach my horse tentatively. She has regained her footing but is still spooked. I run my hands along her nose and offer her a treat.

The stranger dusts off his ratty clothes (_a lot of good it does, he's fucking filthy_) and moves to calm his own horse. His face has turned thoughtfully melancholy, and I can't help but stare a moment while he is preoccupied. His hair is dark and hangs low around his shoulders limply, a small headband wraps around his forehead. I can tell his hair hasn't been cared for in a long while, although his face is smooth as if he shaves regularly. He has a smooth look with rounded features, and surprisingly only stands an inch or two taller than me. It isn't every day I meet another person as short as I am, let alone another man. His body is thin, most likely from poor nutrition, but has a thin layer of muscle remaining. I am uncertain how to feel about his attire. He carries two very old fashioned swords at his sides, the leather belt holding both them and his pants up is almost worn down. The pants and shirt are both looking threadbare, and I wonder how he hasn't frozen to death in the night. The aforementioned cloak is ratty and torn at the edges, but somehow seems in much better shape than his other belongings. I note that his boots look very similar to my own, and tense.

Drawing a sword slowly, I approach him. "Your shoes…" A million new thoughts are surfacing. _He could still be an enemy. Perhaps that was all an act before._

He looks mortified, and holds his hands up in surrender. "I…. p- please, I haven't done anything!"

"Where did you get those boots?" I hold my sword to his thin throat, just close enough to make him catch his breath. I feel only slight hesitation. I don't usually see anyone as an enemy without first seeing proof of treachery. Regardless, something isn't adding up with him, and that leaves me on edge.

"Please, lower your sword. I swear to you that I have harmed no human in my life. I found these boots in the forest about a month ago. Before then, I had lost my shoes to time. I was moving barefoot and… when I found them I couldn't take it any longer… I removed them from a long-dead corpse. I had no other choice." His eyes were looking directly into mine; the green was piercing. He looked truly mournful, so I decided to give him a little credit. Looking at the state of his remaining clothing, it was easy to believe that his shoes would have been unsuitable. I lowered my sword but did not sheath it.

The realization of time passed hits me, and I make a snap decision. I need to rejoin my troops immediately, but I cannot just ignore this situation. "I need you to come with me."

"Come with you? Where?!" His startled expression is even more frantic than when my sword was on his throat. _I don't get this guy._

I have to think quickly. The sun is lowering in the sky and I know more time has passed than I had thought. For all I know, my squad has failed without me. I must convince him. "I am going to take you inside the walls; under military custody, where you will be safe. Right now my fellow soldiers are fighting and possibly dying without me. I need to return to them. If you come with me, no one needs to suffer any longer, and you won't have to be alone."

The man, Michael, takes a long moment to swallow and wipe the sweat from his brow. _God, he's gross._ "I…. I can't. I want to join you, but you have to understand. I have my reasons for choosing solitude. Becoming involved with people again could have serious consequences for me. I have to know that I can trust you, and anyone who would know about me. Please understand. There are those who would want my existence and knowledge kept quiet. They would have me killed. I cannot simply walk among your people discretely, either." His voice is growing higher in an awkward pitch, coming out in a squeak towards the end. He looks lost, and hurt. I can tell that he doesn't want to separate, but cannot bring himself to blindly follow.

"I understand." I sheath my sword and in it's place I extend my hand towards him, taking a step forward. The wind blows subtly, refreshing the mood somewhat. He remains hesitant, so I continue.

"You can do whatever the fuck you want, really." I shrug, my hand hanging in the air casually. "But if I leave you here knowing that you could help people to _survive_, I would never forgive myself. You have lived among the Titans, humanity's greatest enemy, for _years_, and _SURVIVED_. I have a plan to get you inside the walls. You don't have to tell anyone anything if you don't want to, but I can tell that you could use some decent food." _And a damn good shower, at that._

He watches me for a moment, before closing his eyes and breathing deeply into the fresh gusts of wind. "Alright. I will trust you, soldier."

As he reaches for my hand, I manage to ignore the dirt and sweat, instead feeling a surge of something I haven't felt in a _long_ time. _Hope._

"Call me Levi."

It takes about 5 minutes to return to the spot where my comrades lay dead. There is a large, dark spot over the earth near them, and in the center is the messenger I had sent. _That answers that question._ His corpse is charred and slightly flattened.

"What… is this?" Michael looks heartbroken at the sight of the bodies.

"_That_ would be a tragic fool, who succeeded in slaying his target, but not in escaping its final blow. What a waste."

He only makes a sad, disapproving sound in the back of his throat, looking away. It doesn't make things better. As his eyes lay over the other three bodies, he begins to look pale. Resigning himself to looking at his feet, he quietly asks me, "What now?"

While he is spacing out, I make myself busy over one of the lesser-damaged corpses. A boy who once went by the name Darris, I recall. Michael approaches me tentatively and I hand him the boy's gear. "What's this for!?" He lifts the various belts up to examine in the fading light.

"Put them on. You are now a member of the Survey Corps."

"The Survey Corps?"

I can't fathom how he doesn't even know these basic things, but knowing our time is limited makes me move past it. I chuckle inwardly at as he slips on the pants and shirt, both too big for his small frame. It isn't every day I get to witness another person struggle as I have.

"Correct." I finally answer him. "You are a member of my squad, whom I have just rescued from your earlier fight with this Titan. You'll need to fake an injury to explain why we took so long. I'll leave the judgment up to you. Now hurry, we'd better get going."

He looks at me, deeply confused as he attempts to figure out what belts go _where_, and I am briefly reminded of my trainee days. I motion for him to remove his cloak again and I guide the belts over his body. I don't understand why, but I find my fingers lingering over the belts near his hips and then again at the buckle along his chest. _What am I thinking?_ As I scold myself internally, I realize that he has frozen in place, holding his breath.

I am instantly on alert, pulling away and glancing at our surroundings. "What is it?"

He looks at me as if he has just awoken, and after a moment just shakes his head. "I'm sorry… it has been a very long time since I've been so close to another person… you're very warm"

His cheeks blush and I feel my own face heating as I come to understand his implications. I turn away and begin mounting my horse, leaving him to finish dressing. _Damn brats are everywhere._

I hear him mount his own horse and bring myself to glance at him. His cheeks are still a light pink, but his face has gone serious and he gestures for me to lead the way with only the twitch of his chin. With the position of the sun, I estimate it is around five o'clock, and realize that we have little time to rendezvous. I kick my heels into my steed and we trot at top speed towards a newly launched red flare in the far distance.

_Things are getting interesting._

AUTHOR NOTES

I have revised this chapter a bit now, and hope everyone enjoys!  
My proof-reader pointed out something to me that I will mention here just in case anyone else had the same thought – I mention in Chapter 1 that Levi allows his horse to lick his hands. I understand that many will argue this, that Levi wouldn't stand such a thing. Please bear with me as Levi is seen doing this exact thing in both the anime and manga. I am trying not to stray in my character personalities, so please, if you feel that at any point something is 'off', please let me know so that I can better write this story!

Thanks for everything!


	3. Hope and Happiness

Chapter 2.5

_Michael_

I walk lazily beside Trill, as we slowly approach a small lake. It has been days since our last drink of water and she leans on me appreciatively. I fill my makeshift canteen and we move on quickly.

Newly refreshed, she moves steady and I feel more comfortable riding on her back. We wander for what must have been hours, forever heading northwards. We rest when the sun is at it's highest, and take shelter from the heat. _Don't stay in one place. Keep moving._

We do.

The simple rules that have kept us alive all of this time… forever ringing in my head. 

_EVERYTHING FEELS LIKE FOREVER._

How long until I lose myself? _Maybe you already have._

Being only one person atop a horse, it is quite easy to avoid the Titans. In the times where I am lax and allow one to pursue us, it is never difficult to outrun them. Trill doesn't move as fast as she once did, but we have grown so accustomed to the routine that it hardly matters. I have made through today without use for the old swords at my side.

There comes a moment where I realize we have been travelling in the open for quite a while. Although I enjoy the freedom of movement, I know that we need to seek the cover of a forest. I notice a patch of sparse trees a few miles into the distance and deem it well enough. I urge Trill to move faster.

I hear a loud noise in the distance, sounding a great deal like a crack of thunder. I pay it no mind, but am soon curious as I hear a second _crack_ not minutes later. I take the sounds as a warning signal, all of my instincts telling me to _keep moving. Never stop moving._

I am so absorbed in my thoughts that I do not notice the distant sound of hooves behind me. As they grow closer, I convince myself I am only hearing Trill's quickened pace. Then, I hear a _voice. _I turn my head and surely, it cannot be true, but there is a man there, and he is chasing me. I make out the word _STOP _and thought I was already slowing, I take the command and _worship_ it, stopping as promptly as a horse's coordination allows.

_Maybe that wasn't the best idea_. His face is a portrait of complete shock and even a bit of fear. I have no time to laugh _at_ him, but I am _laughing_. Before I know what I am doing, I am grasping him as if my life depended on feeling his touch. I am overcome with emotion and in that moment I feel very _never leave me I need you I can't believe you're really here_. My excitement boils over and I rock us to and fro until we fall.

With a gasp, I realize that I am saying these embarrassing things aloud and loosen my grip. The man gasps and coughs, and I again realize my place. I have been choking him and quickly move to release him, apologizing profusely. The look on his face tells me he hasn't heard a word I have said, and though I am relieved it is a bit heartbreaking to realize how out of touch I was feeling. It was that moment that I knew; I no longer knew how to speak to anything but horses and Titans.

He isn't responding so I attempt to snap him to reality. I feel _terrible_. I can't stop blabbering and am positive I've made a fool of myself. Before I know it, I have spilled more than I intended and somehow he has pegged me as an enemy. For a moment I am content to die by his sword, and then I remember a promise. _My promise._

Mustering all of the calm I can, I talk his sword down. My heart is racing but I make out a few words over the loud rhythm.

"Come with me."

_Please take me with you I don't want to be alone anymore What can I do I will do anything. For you._

"Come with you? Where!?" Suddenly, I am terrified. Not only at the prospect of being some kind of prisoner but also at my willingness to follow him _anywhere. _I blame these shitty feelings on nothing more than loneliness and wave it aside. He is a good man. With just a few simple words he has convinced me of that, and I can tell that he does not want to see any one shed unnecessary blood. We have that in common.

I follow him, I learn his name is Levi. I am surprised to find that even his name is perfect in my thoughts, cradled neatly between the fear and the anger like something I once felt_, long _ago. _Happiness._

I knew right away that he was a soldier. I had no idea that this 'plan' of his meant masking as a soldier as well. I guess anything is better than _War Criminal_. The sight of dead bodies calls forth a carriage of memories I had long since burned. The ghosts of faces and screams playd quietly along the wind as Levi makes small talk, seemingly unfazed by the scene before us.

The complicated uniform is nothing like the clothing I am accustomed to. I try to recall some memories from my previous life that could help me here, but I draw blanks. The uniform I once adorned proudly had never served me well, and it wasn't helping now. Levi shifts to give me some assistance, and _shit is that what it was always like to be so close to someone?_

Three long years without hearing another voice. Three years without the warmth of a human. Trill was great in all, but not exactly my _type_. I'm surprised I even still _have_ a type, and I have to hold my breath to keep myself from saying anything embarrassing. When he notices, I say something embarrassing regardless and we have to move on in an awkward silence.

I ride a few paces behind him, knowing that I never want to be anywhere else but with him for as long as I live.


	4. The Fight

Chapter 3

_Levi_

As we approach the signal flares nearest our location, a foul stench fills the air around us. I begin to break a sweat, full of anticipation. Attempting to remain optimistic, I ensure myself that my comrades will be alright. An additional worry scratches at the back of my mind. _Will they be suspicious of us?_

I hear Michael grunt to his horse, and the loud rumble of hooves increases as he moves faster, coming up beside me.

"Titans." He states the word plainly, leaving it to the wind as if their appearance doesn't matter to him one way or another. His indifferent face is surprising to me, as it perfectly mirrors my own. It is such a contrast to my earlier impression of him, that I am caught off guard when I realize he is now directing the blank stare towards me.

"You okay, there, Levi?"

I blink a couple of times, realizing I had been staring, before gathering my composure. The aforementioned Titan is still a distance to our right, and with a quick glance I gather it to be a 3 meter class. It runs slowly and leans to the right, causing it to run crooked. _Imbecile._

"Ignore it. Press forward."

He gives a quick nod and we concentrate on reaching our goal. The thin fragments of smoke from a flare is above us now, and we find only the hoof prints of horses in it's shadow. I allow myself a moment of relief and hope; that no more men have suffered today. As we continue onward along the trail left by those before us, the strange smell from before grows heavier. My nostrils recoil but I cannot afford to hold my breath, knowing already that there is no escape from the stench. Michael has an intense look beside me, made of concentration and worry. I raise one eyebrow at him, but before I can ask what he is thinking, he speaks.

"I have smelled this scent before. It's been a long time, but I am almost certain….." He lets his voice fade, and I do not press further. He doesn't seem to be in a talking mood, which suits me just fine.

His horse is slowing; unaccustomed, I imagine, to carrying heavier loads like our 3D maneuver gear. I can only hope that Michael himself isn't also slowed by it's presence, as we had no time for instruction. When I told him as much, back at the sight of that battle, he simply sighed and removed his own worn-out swords from his belt. They rest now atop the horse, wrapped in his old cloak so that neither item is recognizable. Just another supply horse cut loose from a carriage for emergency use. I wonder how he would fare in a battle, and am briefly angry with myself for putting him in danger for my own selfish reasons. Still, he obeyed without question, and so I push my guilt to the back of my mind for later. Right now, we needed to find the source of these hoof prints.

"Levi!" Michael's voice sounds suddenly panicked, sharply contrasted to his tone not minutes ago. I trace my eyes over his features and follow his line of sight straight ahead, where a Titan is visible. It has pin straight hair, hanging down to it's shoulders in filthy brown clumps. It hasn't spotted us yet, but I notice the reason soon enough. The Titan is crouched low over a quivering figure. With one hand, it stuffs a screaming soldier into it's gaping maw with little effort; the other hand already reaching for the figure on the ground.

"Shit!" I spit out the word with as much malice as I posses, and pick up speed. Michael is right behind me, urging his slower horse to keep up.

He pats her head and softens his expression for a moment. "We can handle this, girl. Just a little farther, now."

I raise myself up onto my horse's back, balancing as she trots onwards; my swords are drawn as I focus my gaze. _Target sighted_, I think with a smirk. The Titan is lifting the second soldier, whom I now make out to be a woman, to it's now empty grin. She struggles, but I can see as I close the distance between us that she has already accepted her defeat. I hear a frustrated groan from Michael behind me and the rustle of his gear and uniform as he adjusts. Most likely, he is also in a battle stance. _I wish I had a glance to spare backwards._ I hate myself for thinking of such a thing at a time like this.

Now just a few feet away, I hook myself onto a nearby tree and leap from my horse, which immediately changes direction to avoid danger. The Titan has spotted me now, and as I swing up and behind it, it turns at the waist. It is motioning as if to swat a fly, using the hand that clutches the woman tightly. I shake off my reflex to attack the arm, fearful of harming her, and instead use the force of the large fist to push myself in a backwards arc towards the tree. As I balance myself along the trunk, I see the Titan stumble a step, and swing an arm downward towards the ground.

My heart stills a moment as I see that it is Michael the Titan is aiming for, and my breath catches low in my lungs with an uncomfortable ache. My eyes catch the flash of reflecting metal as Michael gracefully leaps from his horse, landing directly onto the arm of the 15 meter Titan. I cannot deny that I am impressed, though I find I am not completely surprised. For any human to survive among Titans for an hour, let alone the three years he claims, they would have to be extraordinary. He runs atop the arm as if it's just another plot of earth to pass by; though his movements seem a little jarred by the heavy equipment that slides over each thigh.

I leap from my perch at the tree and propel myself onward, aiming again for the Titan. Michael has made it to the crook halfway up Titan's arm, and I take the moment to look into his eyes. Almost imperceptibly, he glances towards the clenched fist now heading towards me.I nod my understanding and release a burst of air from my side, rolling my body into a mid-air spin. Michael has already begun advancing once again towards the ultimate goal; the Titan's neck.

Only a second has gone by, and the giant fist is now only a few feet from me, coming directly towards my head. I complete my spin, pushing myself just far enough to the side that it grazes me. A few strands of hair from my forehead are sent upwards with the force, and I take no time to notice how easily that could have been my own head in the air. Once again, I use the force of the punch to maneuver myself into position beside the great wrist, and slice cleanly through it. Simultaneously, I hear the distinct sound of flesh hitting the ground behind me. As I fall from the air beside the loose hand, I grab the woman from a steaming palm and swing us safely to a nearby tree. When my balance is regained, I drop to the earth at the base of the trunk and sink down; the woman resting halfway in my lap.

The Titan has fallen to the ground, shrouded in a familiar white mist. The air is hot and heavy, and my nose is forced to remember the stench from minutes ago that I had hoped to forget. The wind is subtle, and over it's whistling I hear heavy footsteps come to rest beside me. Michael slumps down, mimicking my position, and leans his shoulder against my own. I am too exhausted to shrug him away, and instead choose to ignore it completely.

"Poor girl." Michael's voice is calm and collected, but his features plainly show sorrow and remorse. "I thought we would make it."

I wonder briefly what he means, when I realize on my own. This entire time, the woman hasn't made a move or spoken. Focusing my eyes over her body in my lap proves difficult, but somewhere in my mind I register her limp frame. There's a large amount of blood coming from her mouth and nose, and yet even more from her gaping eyes. I quickly look away, unable to meet her gaze. _Damnit. Too late! Shit!_

Michael isn't looking at her, but at me. His brow creases and I meet his gaze evenly. I tightly hold my practiced visage and stare directly into his eyes. There is unsteadiness in my voice that I hope he doesn't notice. "Let's move on." Shifting out from under her, I lay her peacefully under the shade of the tree and whistle for my horse. With just our two horses, we cannot bring the body along.

As the horse approaches, I pat her nose to calm her and begin stroking her mane. I reach to mount the horse, and hear a voice behind me.

"You-…." There's a tremble in his voice that grabs my attention, and I turn to meet his gaze again; replacing my foot firmly on the ground.

_He looks angry._

"You're… you don't even _care?_ We could have saved her, and we failed! You're just going to _move on_ without another word and forget about her!? _Her sacrifice as a soldier meant nothing to you?" _His rage is apparent, and his two clenched fists shake violently as he approaches me. The bright green eyes I only recently admired have now darkened, the pupils having grown small and sharp. I'm staring again, and to him it most likely just looks like my usual calm expression. That is when I realize why he is suddenly angry, and I open my mouth to comment.

"Oi, it isn't-" I am instantly cut off by the force of his punch, so fast that even I could not react. I stumble, my back thumping into my horse. He doesn't move for many moments, but his eyes remain locked on my own. I take the hesitation as an opportunity. "It isn't like that. We don't have time for this sort of thing. If we don't move quickly-"

He cuts me off again, this time with a thunderous voice I never thought could exist in his small frame. "_What?_ If we don't move quickly, then _what?_ You'll suddenly remember what it's like to _feel something?_ To fucking _care!?_" His words cut deeply but I'm positive it doesn't show on my face. _That's the problem. It just doesn't show._ Too many times today have I been stunned into silence. I take a step forward, and my face grows intense as I prepare to speak.

"If we don't move quickly, more will die."

The softening of his face is almost unnoticeable, and it only lasts for a moment. Again, faster than I expect, his hands are flying towards me. This time, I can tell that his rage is dying out and his heart isn't in it as he shoves my shoulders back into my horse again. The horse seems not to mind, as impassive as ever. My eyes are still shut from the impact, and I feel his hands twist into the fabric of my shirt collar. When I finally peek at him, keeping myself as calm as possible, he is only inches from my face. Michael's eyes are watering slightly, and his ragged breath is hot against my cheeks. The look he gives me is as pleading as his trembling voice when he finally speaks; almost too quiet to hear. "_Bullshit._" It almost sounds like a question. The one word is laced with so many meanings, and I sigh inwardly at the lack of answers I can provide him with.

I have finally had enough of this dance. "I _do _care. Of _fucking course _I care! But it's not like I can afford to stop and grieve this death when even more could be dying right this second. Do whatever you like, but I am going ahead." I shake his hands free and climb atop my horse, ignoring the pain in his eyes and in my own bruised cheek.

I gallop away from his listless form, and urge myself not to look back.

The wind is cooler now, and I welcome it. The thin layer of sweat over my skin is suddenly refreshing, opposed to repulsing. The stench that permeates the air is subsiding, and I am able to focus again on finding my fellow Scouts. I am vaguely aware of a horse following me at a distance, but am now too irritated to care. The last flare remnants are fading from the sky, and I worry that there is no one left to continue firing them. With little choice left, I fire one of my own flares, hesitant to waste them. The black smoke lifts high around me, and I slow my horse while awaiting a response. I hear Michael's horse catch up and then slow to match my own pace. Although he remains a few feet behind me, I can tell that he does not want to separate. A worrying amount of time passes, and I fear that the darkening sky is keeping my flare from being spotted. A few more moments pass by, and still there is no answer. For the first time since Michael's outburst, I make eye contact.

His eyes have gone cold and lifeless, and he just watches me passively. _Now who looks like they couldn't care less._ I let that comment rest in my mind, and instead focus on keeping my voice even. "It can't be helped, let's return to the wall on our own."

He gives a silent nod and motions for me to lead the way once again. My horse beats a sure path northwards, and I can only hope that Erwin and any others are already back at Shiganshina. I refuse to imagine what became of the Scouting Legion during my excursion. A thick guilt creeps into my veins, and a cold shiver runs through me. I press onward relentlessly, with Michael at my heels; our fight now forgotten.

We travel for another 10 or so minutes in relative quiet. The sun has finally set, and we have since only seen one Titan active enough to give chase. In the dark, it is dangerous; but we use it to our advantage and slip away easily. Michael now moves to travel beside me again, and I feel a small relief at the gesture of forgiveness. He is tense, but I can see that he isn't as bothered by the lack of light as I am. I allow him to pull ahead a few paces and lead the way, giving him only cardinal directions to abide by. I catch glimpses of buildings and hilled landscapes in the faint moonlight, and find myself anxious.

"I am unaccustomed to this… not knowing where I am." I say it passively, tentatively testing the waters of a new conversation.

"I can manage, for the most part. I do most of my travelling at night, after all! You can count on me, Levi." I stare unabashedly at the back of his head. His voice sounds lighter, almost back to the quirky personality I met hours ago. I sigh quietly with relief. _Count on you, as you are counting on me…._

Our attention is immediately overtaken by an all-too-familiar thunderous crack. _A flare? At night? But we can't see a thing…!_

"_Michael! _Can you tell from which direction that sound came? I need you to lead me there."

He turns his head just enough for me to glimpse the side of his face, a cheeky smirk greets me. "You got it, _heichou!"_ His heels dig into his horse and he speeds up, I roll my eyes as noticeably as I can and follow him into the darkness ahead.


	5. Silent Night

AUTHOR NOTES:  
This chapter is much longer than the others, but I will warn you now that it is mostly dialogue. It had to happen sometime, folks! If you are tuning in for this update, I'll inform you that I have recently updated my previous chapters. I added a bit more content but really there isn't anything major to note. Feel free to re-read if you care. If you're a new reader, continue on, sailor.

Chapter 4 – Silent Night 

_Michael_

I quickly lead us through the dark. The quiet of the night is interrupted only by the sound of hooves on the ground; all of the Titans now inactive. The moon provides me with enough light to navigate, but detecting obstacles or enemies remains difficult. We move slowly.

__

Years of idling through darkness… I wonder if I will miss it? The thought of being enclosed by walls once again terrifies me. Can I handle each new trial life throws at me? Will I lose myself?

I am lost deep in my own thoughts. I forget for a moment that Levi is behind me; depending on me to get him to our latest goal. I try to concentrate on the task at hand.

It has been a few minutes since we heard the sound of the flare, and although I am certain we are headed in the right direction, I begin to worry. It is possible that I have passed the destination altogether and we are now moving away from the flare's origin. I try not to let my nerves into my voice as I turn and address Levi.

"Judging by the distance of the sound, we should be close. I can't direct us any further without the possibility of getting totally lost." I have brought my horse to a slow stop, and Levi does the same. I make out his dark silhouette shuffling a bit atop his horse. I hear a few clicks and the sound of metal clashing.

He stalls his movements and looks up, presumably toward me. "Cover your ears." I obey immediately as the small gun in his hand lights up for a moment, and a loud bang ensues. This time, we don't have to wait in silence for a response. We hear one almost immediately. A responding bang comes from only a short distance ahead.

_Good. I didn't pass it. Levi was counting on me and I pulled through… _I suddenly scares me how deeply I want his approval.

We keep our horses at a walking pace, so that we may hear any alerting noises in the night. After a quiet minute, I sense the atmosphere change just a bit. The air seems unsettled, and I begin to smell smoke. Levi, who has been rather quiet since the sun set, finally speaks.

"There must be someone here." His horse idles past mine as we walk up an overgrown pathway; presumably once a road. There are many old building around us, mostly reduced to just remains of walls and support beams. One of the more intact buildings ahead has a slight glow emitting from an empty window frame; we approach with quiet anticipation. Levi comes to a stop suddenly, and I see why as I come up beside him.

__

A man. The silhouette of a tall and muscled man stands in a deteriorated doorway, the gaping hole no longer holding an actual door. The light from the fire inside shines on his back, but from the front his features are hidden in the dark. He speaks when we draw near.

"Heichou! You made it!" The man heaves a great sigh and extends his arms outwards in a welcoming gesture, and steps aside to reveal the doorway. "You've brought someone. Good. We need more men if we are going to make it back alive."

Without losing composure, Levi speaks evenly and plainly. "I separated from the group to assist with a Titan. I was a little late, though. Only Michael here made it out alive; not unharmed, though." I am surprised by his readiness to lie, and the ease with which he does. We tie our horses with the others to the left of the building and make our way inside. I remind myself to limp a little with my right foot; Levi sneaks me an approving and thankful look.

The building is large, and seems to have once been a sort of loft. I see a staircase leading upwards, but the top floor appears empty. There are four soldiers sitting atop musty piles of hay around a fire, carefully tucked into a corner. We join them immediately and I allow myself to fall into a vacant hay pile, feigning injury but honestly exhausted. I see Levi glance about the room, and his face is twisted and displeased. With an unpleasant grunt, he sits atop a pile across from my own; the fire separating us. The smell of the old hay and dust is overpowering, so I train my nose onto the smell of the fire. No one has spoken for a long time, as we all stare into the bright flames, mesmerized. When Levi finally speaks, I realize the others were waiting on him the entire time. They jump to attention at the sound of his voice. _He must really be important…_ I remind myself to treat him accordingly in their company.

"What the fuck happened out there?" He has a hand on his forehead, and his eyes have gotten scary with frustration. It's hard to tell, but I think he's hiding his own exhaustion.

The soldier to the Captain's left speaks first. "Sir. After you left the right flank we continued onward as planned. As we rounded the village to reunite with Erwin, we met only with Titans. After a long and rough battle, we made it through to his squad. We began our retreat towards the wall, and of course met more fucking Titans not minutes later. It was brutal. I can't tell you how many we lost. We thought you were gone as well, sir. Never been happier to have been wrong. Anyways, during that fight we were scattered. The few of us here were left behind, it seems. We made camp here in the hopes of making it back to the wall tomorrow, after some rest. We thought the sound of the flares would help and stragglers find us; thank heavens that worked at least." After his story, the man takes a long breath and runs a hand through his dirty blond hair.

"It's my own fault, sir. I was injured and have caused these guys some trouble while taking care of me. I'm sorry." Another soldier speaks up, this time to my own left. I take a moment to look him over and see a bloody bandage wrapped around his midsection. He must have had a pretty close encounter; it looks as though he was almost bitten through. I cringe a bit, but Levi keeps his usual composure. No one says anything again for a long while, but slow banter comes and goes into the night until eventually they settle into sleep upon their hay piles, warmed by the fire and consoled by the quiet of the night.

I rest in my own spot for a long while before I get to my feet. My mind is racing and I feel far too anxious to sleep. Maintaining my limp in case anyone is watching, I make my way up the old staircase. It is dark on the second floor, and it smells even worse than down below. There's a large hole in the ceiling and wall on the other side of the loft's top level, and I sit with my legs dangling down the side of the building. The night air is cold, but it refreshes my senses and so I close my eyes in the moonlight. If there weren't Titans lingering out in the darkness, I would even feel tempted to wander through the night carefree. The thought makes me smirk, but it is a bittersweet feeling that I quickly scowl at instead.

After another while, I hear movement downstairs and shuffling feet as someone ascends the stairs and approaches behind me. I don't need to turn around or even open my eyes. I know it's him.

"Levi." The name is a whisper, partly due to the soldiers sleeping below, and partly because of the tightness in my chest.

His footsteps halt beside me, and he pauses momentarily before quietly lowering himself down next to me. He lets one foot hang down, but keeps the other on the floor; his right knee pulled up near his chin. The image of him in the moonlight is breathtaking, and before I stare too long my eyes manage to pull away and watch the moon in the sky.

We sit for about a minute in silence. Tonight hasn't brought any feelings of levity, and talking takes more energy than any of us can really spare. Regardless, something in the Captain's presence has shifted and I can sense that the time has come. Without looking my way, he speaks lowly in his usual sultry voice. "You should get some sleep before tomorrow." He pauses to see if I will respond, but I stay silent. "If not, I thought we could use this time to speak privately; since we're not in immediate danger." He goes quiet again, and I can't tell if he wants a response or just normally uses few words. I decide to speak up.

"I don't usually sleep at night. I've never exactly had anyone around to stand guard. Really, there's just too much on my mind. Just last night I was almost convinced I was the only human left within 100 miles of this place. Now I have met you, and you tell me there's an entire civilization here somewhere. I am just trying to process it all."

Levi glances my way, but I don't meet his eyes. My hands have busied themselves twisting a few pieces of hay around in my lap, and I pretend to be really interested in the pointless task. "Just tell me, what were you doing out here alone?" He urges me onward with a glare. I swallow the tight ball in my throat and prepare myself.

"I'll try not to bore you to death, because it's a rather long story…. " I discard the crumbled hay and wipe the leftover dust off of my fingertips. Unsure of what to do with my hands, I interlace my fingers and rest them in my lap. "I am from a place much like what I imagine your home to be. Years ago, we came under attack very suddenly by a large group of Titans. This was unheard of to my people. We had never left our walls as you people have, and the Titans had definitely never made it _inside._ We lived sheltered lives within the high barriers. My people were not warriors; they were farmers and craftsmen. We only knew of Titans through shared knowledge; the schools taught the basics and most people just accepted that life would always be that way. Stay in the walls if you want to live. I was a soldier when the battles started, but not anything like you. We were a military only used to control the people and oversee business deals. Bodyguards for the rich and tax collectors to the poor. I wasn't proud of my role, but that was the way things were."

Levi stirs beside me; lowering his raised knee down so that both legs dangle and his hands rest on either side of his hips, supporting his weight as he reclines. His knee touches my own, and rests there. His gaze is distant, but when my voice stops he glances sideways at me in a gesture for me to continue. I mirror him, reclining myself and looking towards the sky as I prepare to go on; keeping my voice low and dull so it doesn't carry any farther than necessary in the empty space.

"When the people started screaming and became scattered in the streets, we knew instantly that something big was happening. Nothing could have prepared us for it. We were ignorant. After a few minutes of frantically directing the citizens, I finally made out that the Titans had appeared. I'm ashamed to admit it, but my first action was cowardly. I ran straight home to my uncle and pleaded with him to run away with me. He refused, even as I tugged his arms and tried to lift him forcibly. He smacked me so hard I saw stars, and that told me right away that something crazy was happening. It was unlike him. His face was calm, and grave. We actually sat down, then, at our little table in the kitchen. Ken, my uncle, said he had important things to tell me. He grabbed my hands and held them; looking me straight in the eyes and refusing to let me move or look away." My voice was breaking as I spoke about Uncle Ken. I had spent years burying these emotions in my solitude, and when resurfaced they felt fresh and painful in my chest. I took a breath.

"You don't have to tell me all of that." Levi sounded indifferent, but the look on his face was smooth and his eyes were soft in the blue moonlight. He was trying to give me an out, but I knew I had to keep going.

" I do, really. My uncle's last moments were significant for all of us. You see, what he told me that day is the reason I am here with you now. It blew my mind, Levi. He started talking about the Titans, saying things I had never heard. School never mentioned the things he was telling me. He said, 'Misha, my boy, listen. You need to take your swords from your room, go get Trill, and run. Get out of these walls before nightfall, and don't you come back. If you have to fight, never forget a Titan's weakness, alright? You slice 'em _real _deep in the neck – right there; use both swords and you carve out a big Titan steak. They drop just like flies. Just like that!'" I snap my fingers the same way Ken had, before realizing the noise I was making. I clear my throat, feeling a bit embarrassed. "He was acting like everything was fine, as if it was a normal fuckin' day. I asked him what the hell he was saying and tried to resist, but he just kept tightening his hands on mine and I can still remember how badly it hurt. Then, we heard the footsteps. The house was shaking lightly at first, but it got worse. Uncle Ken started talking really fast, and began pushing me towards my room for my stuff; saying, 'Get your swords! Your swords! They won't break, I made them real strong. You get out of here and you go find the rest of us, boy.' I was seriously confused, but he just didn't stop talking so I had no choice but to listen. I grabbed up my swords and a small bag of clothes as he just went on. 'You've got to find the other people, and you tell them what's happened here. Help them! Don't let the same things repeat!'

"As he pushed me towards the front door, my whole kitchen came down just a few feet away. That was when I saw my first Titan. I watched it crouch there, right by my dirty kitchen sink; and it just reached in and grabbed for my uncle like it'd been there just for him. Even as it pulled him away, he pushed me into the door and just kept talking like nothing else mattered. I'll never forget it, Levi!" My knees have curled up to my chest and I can't keep my hands away from my burning eyes. _I have to tell him. I have to finish the story! That's why I'm here!_

"Before the Titan crunched down on his head, he spoke and never took his eyes away from my own. 'I love you, Misha. I know you'll fix what we've done. You'll make it right!' but no matter how much I think about that day, Levi, I don't know _what_ I'm supposed to fix. He just said to find people, and I've found you so _now fucking what, Ken!? _I got to watch him die just like that, and you know what? I _did_ run, I ran like a fucking _loser_ all the way to the stables._"_ I'm letting my emotions spill out and my shaking voice is getting louder. I stop and try to take a deep breath. I feel a warm hand on my cold shoulder, and when I meet Levi's gaze he actually looks _sad_. Maybe it's pity; but whatever it is, it's enough. I close the distance between us and bury my forehead into his shoulder.

He doesn't say anything, and I'm glad because I really don't think I would know what to do. The air up here is freezing, but I am a sweaty mess. The heat of my emotions and the tears on my cheeks is suffocating; I keep gasping for air like an injured child. Levi's hand has slipped from my shoulder to my back, and his palm between my shoulder blades is an island of calm amidst my turbulent body. After a minute or two, my shaking relaxes under his touch; as if his one hand could protect me from the world outside of it. My skin cools off now that I am calm, and I shiver from the remaining sweat on my brow. I listen to his breathing and feel his chest move under my forehead, and try to match my own to his. It works, and finally I feel composed enough to look up and meet his eyes.

"I… I'm so sorry, Levi. I didn't mean for that to happen." I can't find any further words and there is a long and awkward pause between us. Levi's hand hasn't left my back, however, and I melt into the feeling. My head presses to his shoulder once again, and this time I allow my cheek to settle against him rather than just my forehead. Our sides are brushing against one another gently, which provides newly welcomed warmth.

His smooth voice feels as if it is over taking my body through just our simple touch; my ear placed gently over the muscle of his chest is acting like an amplifier. I hang onto every word. "Don't apologize. Sounds like you've handled a lot. Staying alive through all of that is impressive. Fuck, even I would probably die after a few straight days out here." His words weren't particularly sweet, but his gentle touch and soft voice definitely were.

"Surviving, huh? Sometimes I don't know if that's what I was doing." I scoff at myself, and I think Levi's mouth twitches in what could have been a smile. "There was something else from that day that bothered me, though." I am calm now, and my voice is finally even as I try to continue. Levi waits patiently.

"After I freed Trill, my horse, from the stables… I could only think of my uncle's last words. So I did what he said. I made my way straight for the front gates of my town; the westernmost point of the outer wall. I saw so many people dead or dying that day. Half of the baker lady's torso was laying _underneath_ a huge pile of her bread. Sometimes I still have nightmares that I am eating loaves buttered with blood…. Anyway; as I approached the plaza near the gates, signs of people and Titans lessened. There were no bodies anywhere. When we got to the gates, I was expecting to have to dismount and wind the gate lever myself to open it. I didn't. The gate was _wide open_. There was no break in the wall, no crack or crumbling stones. The gate was just _fucking open._ I rode through at top speed, and made sure not to stop until all of the Titans were behind me. I still feel like a coward, but now I know there was nothing I could have done. None of us knew how to fight. Our military issued weapons were often just decorative. My own swords were given to me by Uncle Ken; he was a blacksmith. From what I could tell a few days later, after some reconnaissance, there were no survivors. All of the gates of the four outer cities were wide open; my people were killed in a day because they never bothered to defend themselves. I'm ashamed when I see you soldiers. It's admirable, what you're doing."

I've finally said my piece; all important facts and many random ones laid out for Levi to see. I feel vulnerable and nervous, awaiting some form of judgment or scorn from the man. He just shifts his legs slightly, but never pulls away from me. After a few moments of listening to the distant insects chirp, he finally speaks. "Thank you for telling me so willingly."

At that, I am surprised. I pull my head away so that I can look at him face to face. He moves his hand then and I instantly miss it; the spot where it had been now feels cold and vacant. I stumble my words a bit before managing, "I don't know what to do or say, really. A part of me is terrified that I only trust you and am telling you because you are the first person I have seen since then. I want nothing more than to believe in you and not be hurt. However, even if we only just met…. I have seen your kindness with my own eyes. I'm sorry about my outburst before, and that I hit you. Please, forgive me." I can't meet his gaze any longer, and I look to my feet in shame.

The normally serious expression actually softens, and he _smiles_! Without looking at me he says with a low voice, "Don't worry about it. It was refreshing, really."

I laugh to myself, and then find my breath heaving as I yawn. Levi notices and begins to stir as if to stand. "We should probably get some sleep. We've been up here a long time." Before he can get up, I grab his wrist and lower him back down. I stare intently into his eyes, as close as I dare get; feeling the warmth of his breath but not touching him. His eyes stare blankly into mine; unreadable, and he makes a questioning sound in the back of his throat.

I take a deep breath, and though my voice is shaky, I blurt out, "Can I trust you, Levi?" I am sure my eyes are pleading with him. _Please, I can't be betrayed by the first person I meet. I need your help!_

His eyes are stones; serious and unflinching. "Absolutely."

I let go of the breath I had been holding, and before I know what I am doing I hug him tightly around the neck. "_Thank you._" I whisper it into his ear and my mind is whispering it over and over. _Thank you thank you thankyou._

My impulses are raging today, and I have no control over myself. Resigning myself to this is easy with Levi in my arms. As I pull away from him I allow my lips to brush his cheek and stop for the smallest second at the soft corner of his lips. His eyes are wide and he freezes in place. By the time he is moving to stand, I am already across the room and descending the staircase. The sleep I get that night on the hay stack is incredible.


	6. Confinement

Chapter 5 – Confined

_Levi_

I awaken just a few short hours later to the sound of voices and shuffling feet. In my sleepy haze, I barely recall the events of last night. My back aches when I sit forward on the hay pile, and there's a definite crook in my neck when I scan my eyes around the room. It takes a few blinks for everything to focus. The soldiers are all moving about the room in the dim light, gathering their belongings up and peeking through windows on lookout.

The soldier who gave me the briefing last night walks over quietly to pour water from a canteen over the fire. When I look at the glowing embers as they fade and smoke, my eyes to finally focus and I begin to really feel awake. "Captain. Sleep well? We're almost ready to set out, but we should have another few minutes to eat if you're up for it." He tosses me a small burlap sack of emergency rations and I don't hesitate to open it up. As I bite into a thick piece of dried beef, I begin to recall the previous night. The memory brings with it the feeling of the cool night air and the sound of insects chirping in the night. _Michael! That shithead….!_ Before the flush reaches my cheeks, I realize I don't see him around and stand quickly. The soldiers are a bit startled at my sudden movement but quickly go back to eating. Glancing upstairs doesn't yield me any answers, but as I turn towards the entrance of the loft my worries are quickly dissipating.

His silhouette is visible in the beginnings of daylight outside, and the glow around his smile when his eyes meet mine stops me in the doorway. "Good morning." The words are simple, yet his face is ecstatic. I am grateful that the others are still inside and can't see it. A smile just for me.

"Hey. Been up long?" I don't move from my spot, instead opting to watch his calloused hands trail through the mane of his horse's neck. My throat tightens again at the memory of last night; his rough hands were so gently wrapped around me….

A firm hand claps down on my shoulder and pulls me out of my reverie. "Are you kidding? He was the first one up! He got the rest of us up and moving in no time. Said you should get your rest, though, and we couldn't argue. You certainly looked tired; no offense." He pushes past me and towards his own horse and before I can give him a proper glare the others are all moving out as well. I take the cue; shoving the rest of my breakfast into my mouth and climbing my own horse. We move quickly as the sun comes over the horizon. At this rate, we should make a decent distance before the Titans begin moving again. The men fall into a formation and leave me in the lead. I'd be slightly annoyed if it weren't for Michael pulling forward and taking position at my right flank. He shoots me a cocky grin, and the fire in his eyes tells me that he's ready to take on anything.

Two hours later, we made our way into the gates of Shiganshina with two less men in our number. When the first Titans spotted us moving through the fields, we were forced to spur our horses forward at top speed. The injured soldier's ribs couldn't take the rough movement and he quickly buckled to the pain; falling off of his horse. His nearest comrade attempted a rescue but was quickly swallowed whole alongside him. The five us that remained had little choice but to keep moving with no time to mourn.

As we walked through the streets, the response was even worse than usual. The citizens had gathered at the news that the gates were opening again so soon. They watched us with mixed gazes, and I didn't meet a single one of them. Word had yet to reach Erwin and the others, and so there was no welcome party upon our arrival. We simply walked our horses into the stables and went into the temporary headquarters, avoiding the few slack-jawed stares that did notice us. Before drawing too much attention, I quietly directed Michael to the barracks and told him to meet with me in the evening. After leaving him with brief directions to my quarters, I climbed the stairs exhaustedly to Erwin's room. It was easy to notice how relieved he was at my well being; but the man can hardly show me his softer side and so nonchalantly waved me on while mumbling about _rest _and _relaxation_ and other _things I don't know how to do._

Now, it's finally evening time and I sit at the desk in my quarters. I've been attempting to write up my personal report of the expedition since dinner, but my mind won't focus and my hands are uncharacteristically shaky. I crumple the paper I've just completed; the hand writing that adorns it is far from my usual standards. Sighing, I reach to start over on a fresh sheet and hear a light tap at the door. Relieved at the distraction, I lightly walk to the door and open it.

Michael stands in the hallway; his body is tense and rigid as he aims a curt nod my way. I notice immediately that he is clean and well-groomed, and his clothing appears to be newly laundered. I take in the sight, grateful that I won't have to worry about him dirtying my room. "Sir. You wanted to see me, Corporal?" He glances nervously around and I stand aside to allow him in before he can draw any more attention.

"Could you be any weirder, Michael?" I rub a hand through my hair and sit back at the desk.

He has stopped right inside the closed door without coming any further into the room. "How weird would you like? I have 'hasn't-seen-another-human-being-in-three-years' weird, and 'prefers-talking-to-horses' weird. I can also alternate between the two at will."

I'm speechless for a moment when I look back at him. It's the first time he's done anything jokingly that I have seen, and the boyish grin he has on his face is priceless. I feel myself relaxing a bit for the first time today, and so I motion to a spare chair in the corner. He gets the hint and pulls it up beside the desk. I finally manage a reply as he settles in. "Well, look who's fucking funny." The smirk that had been fading from his face came back in full swing, and I found the corners of my mouth twitching upwards in what _might_ resemble a smile. I do my best to squash it down, and busy myself pouring a cup of tea. "Would you like a cup? It's gone cold in the hours I've spent sitting here at this shitty desk, but it's good quality."

His eyebrows rise a bit but he shifts back in the chair and waves his hands in front of him. "No, thank you. I actually have my own drink, if you don't mind." As he says this, his left hand slips into his pocket reveals a flask. He holds it up for me to see and gives it a light shake, as if to ask.

"I don't particularly care what you drink, but I honestly didn't peg you the type." I sip my cold tea and spare a glare at the teapot. _Traitor._

Michael's eyes darken and become half lidded, but the ghost of a smile remains on his lips. His fingers nimbly remove the top and he takes a swig. I try to ignore my impulse to watch the knot at his throat bob when he swallows it down. He sets the flask on the desk gently and sighs. "I'm not the type, really. One of the guys in the mess hall had it earlier and I got a bit curious. When I asked for a swig he gave me the damn thing and pulled a second from his jacket!" He laughs a bit at the thought, and twirls a finger around the metal still sitting on the desktop. "I couldn't believe it, really. It tastes like home." His face is growing more serious the longer he goes on, and a part of me worries he may begin crying all over my paperwork.

I let the silence linger a moment while I make a choice. Swiftly before I can take it back, I grab the flask and bring the cool metal top to my lips. The liquid makes my tongue tingle as I let it fill my mouth, and I swallow it all in one shot. The tingle follows it down into my stomach, leaving behind a warm burn. I let it settle and sit the flask back down with a defining thud. Michael's eyes are wide as he watches me, obviously taken back by my actions. I give him a moment to think on it before breaking his thoughts with my voice, now rough from the alcohol. "Wow. Your home must taste like day-old _shit."_

His hands are in his lap, and twitch slightly when I speak. As soon as he has registered the words, however, his head flies back into the chair and one of those slender hands covers his eyes dramatically. _He's losing his shit!_ His laughter is hearty and loud, and this time I _know _he's going to cry all over my paperwork but I'm happier knowing it's from joy. "Oh, my- pppfffttt HAHAHA oh damn…." It's obvious he doesn't even know what to say, and he stops trying when his arms wrap around his ribcage; _literally _holding him together. I sit stiffly with one leg crossed over the other, and sip my tea patiently to diminish the flavor of the alcohol. My teacup hides the small smirk on my lips, and I train my eyes straight ahead to keep from laughing along.

After a minute or two of this, he straightens up and wipes the corners of his eyes. His black hair has fallen into his face, obscuring most of his expression. "That was… perfect. Ahhh I haven't laughed like that in so long!" He says as he caps the flask and places it back in his pocket. I dab my lips with a cloth and avoid his gaze.

"It really wasn't that funny, you know."

"Maybe, but coming from _you,_ it was golden." He points at me as if that gets his meaning across, and I think the look on my face must be pure _death_.

"What is that supposed to mean, shithead? I'm damn funny when I want to be."

Suddenly aware of the situation, he sits up straight and clears his throat meaningfully. "Yes, sir. Absolutely. I apologize." His face is serious but it doesn't hide the sound of amusement in his voice. My eyes don't meet his, and instead I return to the paper in front of me. Still blank.

"Oh, come on. You're not really upset, are you? I'm really sorry, I just _really _needed that laugh today." His jolly tone has returned, causing a part of me to soften. A slender arm rests on the edge of the desk, and he watches me as I write in silence for a while. Despite the utterly boring atmosphere, his face remains light-hearted with a smirk. The bright green of his eyes captures my attention in the candlelight and I become unaware of time passing as I stare at them.

_Despite everything you've told me, I still have no idea who you are, Michael. The strangest part is that I actually want to know… and despite our conversations thus far, I can't even form a real opinion of you. There's something….different._

I snap out of my reverie in an instant when I realize that he has been meeting my gaze this entire time. My cheeks would surely be flushed if I were capable of blushing. I blink a few times and go back to my work without a word. Much to my relief, he doesn't say anything about the odd exchange and instead watches me quietly a while longer.

As the night drags onwards his soft eyes begin to droop in the candlelight, and I see him stifle a yawn just as I finish the final line of my report. I sign the bottom in my usual flourish and set down my pen. Looking over, Michael's eyes have closed completely and his breathing is the steady rhythm of a deep sleep. I watch him like that for a few minutes, admiring the dip of his eyelashes over his cheeks and the pout of his lips. His hair is no longer tied behind his head, and instead hangs and brushes at his shoulders. The faint smell of soap lingers in the air around him. _I wonder how hard he had to scrub to get that clean… He looks immaculate compared to earlier. _When I'm confident that the image has been engrained into my mind, I wake him with a gentle nudge in the shoulder.

The breath huffs out of him in an amusing half-snort as he sits up and looks around, his face showing confusion and shock. "Was I-…. Was I just fucking _sleeping!?"_ He straightens abruptly, and almost tips the fragile chair in the process. A knee knocks into the desk and the teacup topples; fortunately emptied some time ago.

Meeting his stare with my own, I answer impassively, "Yes." After a long moment he sits back in his seat, but his face still holds a flabbergasted look. "What's the big deal? It's fine, really. I've just finished my report so we can get to our discussion. That is, if you're going to be able to pay attention." I notice his head shaking back and forth as I speak and so end it there, and await his reply.

"No, that's fine- it's just that… Well, to put it simply I don't usually drift off like that. It was just startling for me. My apologies. What did you want to talk about?" Michael stretches his thin limbs and spreads his legs out under the desk in a relaxed way I find myself envying.

"I have to let you in on my plan at some point, right? I'll need you to keep an open mind here." I clear the report and other papers off of the desk and store them in a drawer for safe keeping. I allow myself to let the veil slide a bit; I move across the room and sit on the edge of my bed and remove my heavy boots. I loosen my cravat and remove the belts from across my chest. It's been too long since I felt comfortable around another person. I'd like to blame this feeling on the fact that Michael doesn't know anything about me and he won't have some hero complex to overcome by seeing me in a humanized state. At least, I deeply hope not.

"I think I can manage that, but you're making me nervous over here." Forest green eyes watch me as I move, and if he is nervous his even expression does not show it.

"You have five days, during which you will stay here with the Scouting Legion as one of our own. When that time ends, you are going enlist into the military formally as a trainee. The process takes three years, and then you'll be able to come back to the Scouting Legion as a true member." I stare at him with my expressionless mask, calmly awaiting his reaction.

He takes a long moment, sighing and stretching his limbs again. His voice is even but I can hear something within it that actually makes me worry. "You want me… to join your military… and just act like everything's normal for _three years?_" He says it slowly, tasting each word as he says it. Then, he shakes his head and looks at me incredulously. "And you want me to _keep an open mind about this_…. !? No fucking way, man. Oh, I meant; _No fucking way, SIR._" His voice loses it's calm and raises in pitch. I expect a physical outburst much like during our last 'disagreement', but his feet are planted firmly in place and his eyes are watching me intently. The best I can do, I suppose, is be straight-forward.

"What did you plan to do when you found us, exactly? Did you plan to just swoop in, drop some info down, and ride off into the sunset? Where exactly would you go, Michael? Back to your shitty home to live among the Titans again? Really, I honestly thought you'd _want_ to live here with humans, considering everything." The anger rising in my voice is apparent, but I match his unwillingness to move and the steady stare he's been shooting at me. There's a sudden change however in his demeanor, and my mood is interrupted.

"I-… I actually hadn't thought that far ahead, I guess. Damn." His honest answer makes my lip twitch and I am dumbfounded. _I can't figure this guy out. Is he an idiot or what?_

"Are you serious right now?" My eyes are wide and disbelieving.

He gives a small shrug, and his eyebrows are knitting together. "Yeah. I mean, I've never been much of a liar. It was hard enough getting through today. Do you know how many weird looks I got when I asked where the showers were!? Luckily some folks took pity on me and helped me out. They probably think I hit my head too hard. Truthfully, I wanted nothing more than to find the people my uncle told me about. I guess I was so focused on that thought that I hadn't considered my next move." He gets up from his seat and begins pacing slowly, keeping his footsteps quiet in the night. I spot a look of deep concentration on his face every time he walks the few steps my way, and I lose it whenever he turns to walk the few steps back. Finally, he stops mid-stride on his way towards me and just looks at me. "I think that I am afraid, sir. I think that a part of me has actually come to enjoy living my life freely outside of a cage. I didn't have to worry about people. Loving them, or losing them; impressing or disappointing them. I just had to worry about myself and Trill. I got to see things that most people don't even know about; at least not where I came from…" He trails off and sighs.

I bring my right leg down to the floor and swing my left over it's knee, exchanging the two for comfort. His eyes continue to impress me, and I knit my own eyebrows unconsciously as I watch him. I'm overcome with the urge to say _anything_ in an effort to relieve his anxiety. I think about his words for a moment and scratch at my chin thoughtfully. "I actually… get it." I am surprised at my own words and can see he feels the same. "I mean, being able to live freely like that… who would want to become a caged animal? The whole situation makes me sick, but it is what it is. I can't let you go back to that, not until the Titans have been eliminated."

His expression looks pained and he takes a few deep breaths. The green eyes look black in the darkness, but there is a distinct shine in them that tells me they are filling with water. The silence of the night is disrupted by his footsteps; the newly polished boots tapping on the wood as he closes the small distance between us. For the second night in a row he is inches from me, and my heart beats faster in anticipation. Michael's hand is warm when it roughly grasps my own. My arm is yanked forward and I feel his fingers pressing against each of mine as he flattens my palm against the muscles of his chest. Like a whisper, his heart beat matches mine and thumps against the skin of my palm. I hold my breath and wait for him to speak or move.

"It won't stop, sir. Ever since I met you yesterday." For a moment I am expecting a confession, and I panic inside. _What would I do?_ Then, I see his expression in the darkness. His eyes are shut tightly as if in pain, and the water that had filled his eyes now spills down his cheeks. "I am terrified. Terrified of _people._ More afraid than I have ever been, even when facing the Titans for the first time years ago. It _hurt _when I saw the walls today, and even more when that huge gate closed behind me. I can't explain it, but I know it's fear." My palm springs up when his hand drops to his side but my fingers stay there over his heart, feeling the whisper under his skin. The coarse fabric of his jacket tickles my fingertips as he falls to his knees, and before I know it my hand is touching nothing but cold and empty air. It hovers there for a moment and all I can hear are Michael's deep breaths and muffled sobs. Uncertain what to do, my hand falls to my lap and I hang my head.

"You…. You're afraid? I know. I seriously _get it._ I meant it when I say that. You don't want to let anyone close again because you'll lose them. You're afraid to love and afraid to lose. Everyone is." I sigh into the dark, and somewhere my mind is aware that the candle is burning low. "But… you can count on me, Michael. I'm going to spend this week preparing you for a new life here. You'd damn sure better appreciate it. You don't know this yet, but I've got a nickname here." He glances up through his long hair and wipes a few tears off of his cheeks. _Now I have his attention._ "I've never been especially fond of it, but they call me _Humanity's Strongest Soldier._ That means, Michael, that you can put some faith in me. I won't be dying any time soon. You can bet that, after three years, you will return here as a real soldier. Then, I'll be here waiting."

He is quiet for a long time before standing and wiping his face a final time. The sniffling has stopped and his eyes meet mine defiantly. The normally light, almost childish voice is shaky and deep when he says, "Alright. You're on. Thank you, sir." He gives a small bow and turns towards the door. "If that's all for this evening, I really must be going. I'm sure it's past midnight by now." I watch him take a few trembling steps.

"Wait." I stand and move across the room, stopping beside him. "Before anything else, you need to at least act like a proper soldier." He is standing up straight at attention, so without moving his torso I firmly grab his hands and form them into fists. I bring the left one behind his back and press it into his spine. _Keep it there._ This time I am a bit gentler as I bring his right fist to rest over his heart. I hold it there with both hands, and stare pointedly at him. "This fist will fight for your fellows, and the heart beneath it will one day stop for them as well. Do well to remember that as a soldier. Always call me sir or Corporal around others; when we are alone, I don't mind if you call me Levi. Since you're not really a soldier, it's a bit awkward for us to be so formal all the damn time." With a final and firm grip, I press his fist into his heart once more and let go. I take a step back and make a show of looking him over before giving an approving nod.

He smirks and relaxes visibly. "Thank you, Levi." I walk past him and back towards the bed, stopping at the nightstand to grab a change of clothing before plopping back down to loosen the straps on my legs. The sound of his footsteps stop again and I look up to see him at the door. His long black hair softly sways when his head turns towards me. His face looks red from crying. "Levi… can I ask you a favor?" I nod slowly and he continues. "If I may call you Levi, then I would like it very much if you also called me informally… so please, call me Misha when we are alone."

The name sounds strange to me, and something about it makes me feel nervous. Regardless, if it gets him to relax a little I will agree. I'm sure if he has another emotional outburst I am going to go insane. With the straps from my lower half gone, I'm now wearing only my uniform pants and shirt. I begin unbuttoning the top buttons of my shirt and just nod again towards Michael. "Sure, Misha. Have a good night."

His face is still very red as he swallows noticeably and leaves the room, a little quicker than necessary. I fall asleep with the candle still it, and when the morning comes the faint scent of smoke lingers in the air.


	7. Counting Down

Chapter 6 – Counting Down

_Michael_

I sit in the mess hall. It's large and loud with chatter, the many soldiers around me telling stories of home and happier places. I wonder inwardly if I will have a happy place again. Underneath the scent of fresh bread (_which makes me sick and I can't bring myself to eat)_, potatoes, and beef, lies the smell of aged wood and cleaning solutions. I poke at the potatoes tentatively before deciding I should eat _something_. As I take a few small bites, a tray clatters down across from me and I hear a chair scrape across the wooden floorboards. "No appetite, huh? Can't blame you. You came in yesterday with _Heichou_, right?" When I look up to see the face of the person speaking, I meet a pair of large, sky-blue eyes set into a very boyish face. _He can't be more than eighteen! _

When he's settled into his chair, he tears into a bread roll enthusiastically. I hear the soft sound of the crust tearing apart and all I can see in the space between dough pieces is a spray of fresh blood; it drips heavily down his chin and onto his tray with a small _plop_ _plip plop_. I can't stop the panicked look on my face, but I quickly hold my breath and close my eyes.

_Five Four Three Two One _

When I open them, the boy is staring at me with his mouth hanging open. There's a chunk of bread still between his lips, but no blood in sight. I shake my head a few times to recover and just nod in response to his earlier question.

He hesitates a moment before returning to his food, and doesn't seem shy about speaking with a full mouth. "I've never heard anything like that. Survivors showing up after the fact, you know. People were making a pretty big commotion about it since word finally got around. I'm Kip, by the way!" He extends a messy hand my way and swallows his most recent mouthful of food. I shake it reluctantly, wiping my hand off under the table where he can't see.

"Michael." Is all I can manage. I've finished with my meat and potatoes by the time he says anything else.

As I stand to clear my tray, he stops me. "You gonna eat that? Better not let anyone see you wasting food." He points to the roll of bread I've been ignoring and smiles as I move the tray within his reach. Kip gladly takes the bread and has it eaten before I make it even a few steps away. After I've cleaned up, I rejoin him at the table for lack of anything better to do. After a minute or two, he finishes and does the same. "So, Michael, where are you headed next? They've got me on laundry duty, of all things." He makes a show of shivering in disgust, and runs a hand through his black hair.

"Um… I'm not sure. Maybe I should go and ask the Corporal…" My eyes wander over the mess hall in search of Levi's small frame, but I don't see him.

"Are you serious!? Don't tell me you guys are friends. No one gets close to him, we're all too afraid he'll rip our throats out or something." His wide eyes are inches from my own as he leans over the table exaggeratedly. _Where does he get this energy from? I'm exhausted already._ I've been feeling irritable all morning, but if Kip has noticed he doesn't care. His comments about Levi seem rude to me, and I'm almost angry until I remember that Levi _did _try to kill me at one point…

"He's not that bad. We aren't friends, but we spoke a bit during the expedition… " His head is already nodding along, and he sits back in his chair. I hope he hasn't noticed my cheeks heating up.

"Yeah, that makes sense. You guys were out there alone at some point, right? That's incredible. I remember the first time I saw heichou take down a Titan. I bet you felt pretty safe by his side, am I right!?" He chuckles.

"I suppose. I was injured during a fight and about to die; he saved me. It was impressive, alright. He didn't even flinch when Titans came his way. Thanks to him, I'm on the road to recovery." I've been limping around for a while, but today I'm going easy on the acting. Better to make it seem like I'm healing quickly, than to fake the injury any longer. Hopefully my story will back up any suspicions. I was never good at lying, and now I'm not even sure I'm good at _speaking_. Regardless, he nods along and seems content to carry the conversation along on his own.

The conversations around us have thinned out along with the people, and we decide to take our leave. Without any clear morning instructions, I decide to follow Kip. He thanks me for the help and shows me to the launderette; a small storage room full of bins and washboards. We take the bins and make rounds throughout the halls, collecting dirty uniforms and unmentionables. With a washboard under one arm and a full bin of clothes (tucked into an empty bin underneath it) balanced on my hip, I follow Kip outside and to the washing area. We fill the empty bins using one of the many wells found around the compound and scrub away. The sun is directly overhead when we finish, and hang them along a line to dry.

Later that evening, I meet Levi again in his room. He begins running me through the basic things about their community, and then the Titans. All of the information is rattled off at an even but unrelenting pace and Levi makes it clear that he expects me to keep up without question. I do, as it seems most things coincide with my own teachings as a child. We end the meeting after two hours or so and I make my way to the barracks.

In the darkness of the hallway candlelight flickers, every moving shadow takes the shape of a screaming friend. When I enter my section, the two long rows of beds look ominous. Each footstep I take echoes loudly and each echo calls out to the corpses around me. When one rolls to look at me, the eyes are hollow and bloody; the images are so strong that I can almost smell decay in the air. I have to train my eyes on my cot in the very back of the room as I walk.

_One empty bed. One coffin ready. Just for me._

That night, I sit with my knees pulled tightly against my chest. I watch each soldier as they sleep deeply, reminding myself that the sound of breathing means they are _alive. _

_One day down._

The following day comes and goes without incident. It turns out that I was in fact meant to attend to the laundry after all, and so I accompany Kip again after breakfast with him and a friend. He carries our conversation happily. That evening, Levi delves deeper into the details of the hierarchy and the Wall worshipers. He seems more distant than our first two nights together, and I have to work to keep myself impassive. The only times I can see clearly are those times that he is near. I've never had to blink away the waking nightmares; his skull crushed, or limbs burned black, no bloody mouthfuls of bread.

That night, I sit atop my cot once again. After a long while, once I am sure that my comrades have all fallen to sleep, I make my way back out of the barracks. _I'll have to attribute my recent irritability to exhaustion. I really need some air._ Being on the first floor has its perks. I have little trouble slipping outside unnoticed. When a cool breeze hits my face, I gladly suck it deep into my lungs. It burns, and I begin to feel alive for the first time in days.

As reluctant as I am, I settle neatly into the idea of this new world. Starting life over begins to feel possible with each new day. These thoughts leave an aching in my heart. I remind myself not to forget my reasons for being here.

I drag my feet along the peddled pathway towards the stables. It takes me a moment to find the match sticks and candles, but soon the small light illuminates the wooden walls and cobwebs. Careful not to walk too fast, fearful of staring into darkness any longer; but my fears dissipate when Trill comes into sight. She's standing idly and I feel my heart sink at the thought of her loneliness. In this world, my best friend is a _horse_. We've had only one another, and now we are both trying desperately to fit into a place that isn't ours.

She's smaller than the other horses, and not as fast. Although Levi explained to me that their horses were bred to be this way, I never thought much of it until now; seeing her in this stall meant for larger creatures truly leaves Trill looking feeble in comparison. I pet her gently and coax her downwards, until she is laid across the floor. Leaving the candle to flicker on the wooden stall door, I lay my back against her broad side and relax. I watch the shadows dance on the walls and speak to Trill in a low, soft voice. I tell her about my day, and about Kip and Levi. When I look to her face, her eyes are closed and she must be sleeping. I lay my head back and concentrate on the sounds of the night. The smell of hay and horse shit doesn't even register, because all I want now is sleep; which I find that night for the first time in days.

_Two days down._

I awake as soon as my mind registers light in the sky. I stand and allow Trill to do the same, bid her goodbye and quickly walk back to the barracks. A few soldiers are awake and moving, and though they give me some very suspicious glances, I avoid their gazes and give no comment.

After a much needed shower, I tend to my stomach in the mess hall. The second day was hell on my insides; my stomach not accustomed to being well fed and my ass not accustomed to so much time on the shitter. Now, however, things seem to be normalizing; so I eat to my heart's content and toss my daily bread to Kip while he chats with the same friend from yesterday.

"Tell me, _Kippa, _how's it been scrubbin' my dirty underwear every day? I bet you just _love_ it." The boy, no older than Kip, digs an elbow into his rib. Kip responds by stealing his bread and shoving him half way out of his seat.

"It's fine until I get to _yours_. Tell me, did your mom ever get around to potty training?" They struggle amongst themselves.

I meet the boy's eyes for the first time, and hesitate a moment before speaking. _I don't even know this guy's name, even though he's sat here two days in a row… _I regroup my thoughts and clear my throat. "Did you… say _Kippa?_" My eyes widen and I look at Kip, whose face has gone a distinct shade of pink.

"It- it's my name… Kippa Koch. But you'd better call me Kip, damnit." He looks down for a moment, seemingly embarrassed as the boy beside him laughs loudly. Kip reaches over and flips the boy's tray over, scattering food across the table and floor. I can't help but laugh at the scene along with everyone as Kip and I stand to clear our trays and the boy picks his ruined food off of the floor.

I shoot a sympathetic look backwards, and when Kip sees me he says, "Don't mind it. John and I go way back. We used to mess with each other much worse than that; he'll be fine. He'll probably get me back later when I'm sleeping." He smiles and shrugs, and as we make our way to the launderette per our usual routine, he glances at me a few too many times to be subtle. I finally shoot him a questioning look when we stand outside in the sun. After pouring a bucket of clean water into his wash bin he speaks. "I've been hanging around you for three days now, and not only have I never seen you speak to anyone else but you've definitely never laughed like that. I was starting to get worried!" He wrings out a white t-shirt and hangs it on the line to dry.

My hands halt in place atop the scrubbing board, and I look into Kip's eyes. I feel like it's the first time I've _really_ looked at him. His blue eyes are lively, and his boyish features and black hair make me think of a young Levi. _If Levi were a foot taller…_ It's as if this was Levi, years ago. Before a rough life got a hold on his dreams; the strain of battle and responsibility drained the color in his eyes, replacing it instead with dark circles underneath their soft skin. It occurs to me that may be the only reason I've allowed Kip to cling to me the way I have, despite a need to be discrete. We are watching each other for a moment until I go back to work while I reply.

"I see. It's true; I've been out of sorts. My apologies."

He returns to work beside me and nods his head. "No need to be sorry! I'm just glad you can smile, after all. It suits you." His cheeks are a bit pink as he shoots me a sideways glance, and quickly looks back to the sock in his palms.

"Thanks? I guess I've just been a bit out of it since the other day."

"Yeah, I bet. No worries."

His boyish grin is pointed at the wash bin, but I catch him glancing my way a few more times during work. My mind wonders to Levi, wondering what he does during the day and how he sleeps at night. I try not to think of him when I look at Kip, whose hair is parted similarly and hangs over his forehead in the same spots. When we part ways that afternoon, I feel bittersweet.

I take the late afternoon as time to myself. I jog around the large buildings that make up our headquarters, stopping every lap to do some strength work. By the time I feel the right amount of burn in my muscles, the mess hall bells are ringing for dinner time. The food is cold when I get to it, but it feels good in my stomach. I drink a little too much tea. Kip finds me again at the end of my meal and asks if I will go for a walk with him later. I agree to meet him, but don't tell him about my meeting with Levi beforehand.

Hours later and I sit at the desk in Levi's room, once again. He sits in his own chair a few feet away, not in front of the desk but nearby so that he can easily point to various things atop the desk. This book depicting Rose, Maria, and Sina. That chart explaining the ratio of recruits who enter each branch of the military every year. These sheets of notes hand written just for me by Levi. I focus on the neat sway of his handwriting; which letters are elaborately scribed and which merely scribbled. I see the tension in his muscles and the hurried flicker of his thoughts in each line of text. I hang onto the curves of his cursive L's and S's as if I will fall to my death when the sentence has ended. When I peel my eyes away they cling onto Levi himself, who fails to notice and continues his lecture. I watch the knot in his throat sway with his spoken words, as enticing as the written ones. When the lips I've been watching turn my way I jump awkwardly into awareness.

"You okay? Getting all of this?" His grey eyes are black in the candlelight, yet still mesmerize me. In this intimate atmosphere, night after night, I fight my desire to brush my lips over his again. At first I waved the feeling off; surely it was only the overwhelming emotion of finding a friend after so long. After being together with all of the other soldiers over the last few days, it had become apparent that was not the case. In the morning showers, I would intentionally let my eyes wander over both men and women alike; neither of which sparking anything within me. Although I'd always been privy to men, I had been desensitized through my own military service back home. Therefore, just sitting beside an attractive man shouldn't have this effect on me. I shift slightly in my seat so that I am facing away from Levi, and concentrate on the paper again.

_Could I be less obvious, please? _"Yeah, I got it. Just a little tired, I guess. Please continue." I swallow a knot in my throat and wait to hear his smooth voice in my ears.

When he speaks, I jump again; the sound coming from right beside my ear. I turn my head to see that he is standing and leaning over my shoulder. How had I not noticed him moving? "Forget it. Go get some rest." The hand on the back of the chair is brushing against me, and although he doesn't seem to notice it is enough to light sparks along my spine. He clears the papers and books from the desk and organizes them neatly. His hand is gone too soon. I can't tell if his words are calm or if perhaps he is upset with me, so I bow my head in apology before shutting his door behind me.

I walk back downstairs and head outside to the courtyard. There is a gravel path that leads through it and around the complex, with the occasional wooden bench for weary soldiers to rest on. I pass under a stone archway and into the courtyard; more decorative than practical and a little too showy for my taste. There's a bench a little past it, and I sit there to wait for Kip in the moonlight. Time passes quickly; my mind is overtaken by the memories of Levi's voice in my ear.

"Hey! You're here already! I thought you had something to do so I waited around a little bit. Sorry if you were here long." He jogs up casually and stands beside me, his usual grin illuminated by the moon. I stand and motion for him to lead the way.

"I finished early, but don't worry about it. I wasn't waiting long at all." Truth is, I have no idea how long I've been sitting here.

We walk along the path without conversation, and it isn't until we've made one lap around the entire place that Kip speaks. The cool night air and quiet atmosphere have put me in better spirits, so I listen more attentively than I have all day. Kip seems to notice and smiles, going on about his day and how John seems to have gotten revenge at dinner; spitting in his potatoes and pouring tea all over the rest. His jovial laughter is infectious, and so another lap goes by in good spirits. I have little to say, as the only other person I speak to is Levi whom I can't mention. We make it another half a lap when Kip motions for a bench and we sit. From here, the back of the Shinganshina temporary Headquarters can be seen. Green fields surround most of the complex, and so the only shrubbery and trees are spread around the building to make it look desirable. This back end, however, seems to be neglected. The trees are sparse and unkempt, and even the graveled path has lost most of said gravel. There's a silence between us as we both look over the area in the darkness. I wait for Kip to start the conversation, as usual.

"Thanks for joining me out here. Sometimes I can't sleep and so I do a few laps. Lately I've been doing more and more, so I thought it'd be nice to have some company." He looks serious suddenly, and is looking at his feet. I don't respond in words, because I can't really read his mood. Instead I do something I haven't done with Kip before. _I touch him_. It may not seem like much, but Levi is the only person I have brought myself to initiate contact with. The horrid images I often see when looking at others are enough to keep me away. Somehow though, I have been seeing Kip more clearly lately. When my hand comes to rest on his shoulder, he looks visibly surprised. For a moment I consider retracting it, worried that I have done something wrong.

He reaches a hand of his own up and lays it over mine, stopping any thoughts of moving. It's warm and clammy. He looks into my eyes and I begin to feel a bit nervous. _What is this sudden change in atmosphere?_ Kip must register the question in my eyes.

"On the expedition… I didn't do anything. Totally useless. I was so damn afraid of the Titans… I didn't even remember to fire signal flares! I just rode in the safe zone until things were settled. I feel terrible, especially knowing you were even out there fighting and got injured." His hand squeezes mine gently, but his eyes remain on his feet, brows knitted.

That feeling. The feeling of fear and uselessness. I know it so well that it hurts. The very thing that haunts my every moment. My chest tightens with the memory of my own desperate escape from the Titans. _I want to comfort him but I can't even hold myself together._ I take a moment to gather my thoughts, and tighten my grip on his shoulder.

"You're alive."

"Yeah. Great."

"It _is_ great, Kip. You're alive now, so get stronger. _Keep_ living and eventually throw in some _Titan killing_ here and there, and you've got the perfect recipe for Soldier. That's all we do, really. We just survive until next time." I shrug my shoulders.

His hand falls from mine and down into his lap. "I guess, but I can't help but feel like I should have at least died _trying_, like so many others. I lived because I'm a coward, not because I'm strong."

"Yeah. You did. You are." He looks at me like I've just killed him myself, a dagger in his back. "But so am I. I did the same thing the first time I saw a Titan. I just ran, and I left some people to die. Then, I got a little stronger. I fought back when I could and ran when I couldn't. That doesn't change anything, I'm still a coward. But now I can do something, even if it's small, and I'm alive to get stronger."

Kip seems to relax his shoulders, and I give him a pat on the back before moving my hand to the back of the bench behind him. We look at the stars for a time. The wind is subtle and just strong enough to sway the sweat-tinged hair on my forehead. I hear the sound of clothing rustling and feel the old wooden bench shake with movement; Kip's leg is pressed against my own. The heat from it spreads into my own lower half, and as I turn a startled look his way I feel moist lips against my own. I'm stunned, unable to respond at first, but his tongue dances over my flesh and begs entrance. The image from this morning, a young Levi in the prime of life, convinces me to comply. I rest my hand between his shoulder blades, and tilt my head slightly as his tongue slides into my parted mouth. We kiss heatedly, and I feel my body responding in ways I haven't felt in _years._ He has a hand digging tightly into my waist, and one is playing with the loose hair of my ponytail. The sensations are too much, and I plead with my body not to give me away so easily. How long has it been? How low am I to kiss Kip while thinking of Levi? _Who's the coward, here?_

I feel his hand slip from my waist and move down to my belt. For a moment, I don't even consider stopping him, but when the tension around my hips releases as the buckle comes free I quickly come to my senses. A hand stops his, and the kiss is broken. His blue eyes are a perfect Levi-silver in the moonlight. It kills me. He's pleading, and I hesitate.

"Please…" His whisper tickles my lips and it takes all of my willpower to tighten my grip on his wrist and move his hand away. "I'm sorry, I-" He cuts himself off and looks away, embarrassed.

"Don't apologize, it's alright. I enjoyed it… but I can't do this." I release his wrist and slide to the end of the bench, putting distance between us.

"Is it because we haven't known each other long? I understand that! Please, give me a chance. Get to know me!" He smiles weakly, and it's admittedly adorable. I sigh tiredly, because surely I'm too old for his childlike spirit.

"Sure. Let's be friends, to start…" I have to hide my face so he doesn't see my shame. I feel overwhelmingly guilty imagining his reaction when I 'disappear' from Headquarters. He's shaken visibly when he stands to leave. Kip offers me a parting bow of apology and walks quickly back down the path.

I opt not to go inside again, and instead head straight to Trill in the stables. It takes a while to fall asleep again, as I replay all of the moments I've shared with Kip so far. My heart feels heavy when I drift into sleep.

Three days down. _Two to go._


	8. Witness Protection

Chapter 6.5 – Witness Protection

_Levi_

Sitting in the mess hall is probably one of the most nerve-wracking things I can think of. It's loud, smelly, and disgusting. Despite actually sleeping the night before, I still found myself waking early with circles around my eyes. After a brief workout and shower, I've met with Hanji for breakfast. Much to my dismay.

"Seems like word's finally getting around about your little adventure among the ranks! The mood is pretty light considering our expedition was an utter failure." Hanji's forehead meets the table with a thud, causing the trays to clatter. "I couldn't find out anything new at aaaalllll!" Two large, lanky fists slap down on either side of the full tray.

"Shut up and eat." I take a few bites of stew and sip at my tea while Hanji groans and makes a pitiful display for the onlookers.

"But, Levi! It's been _ages_ since we got any new information. Hey, hey! Let's go back out! Soon! Next week! Tomorrow!?" When Hanji stands excitedly, the now-empty chair scrapes the floor with a terrible sound.

I shoot a death glare across the table and Hanji slowly sits back down. "We have no control over expeditions, you know that. You can't forget, I hope, that most of our ranks are still recovering. It will be weeks before some of them can ride a horse. Until then, we are stuck in these temporary Headquarters, and most certainly not fighting any Titans." Hanji sighs loudly and resigns to eating the mess of food atop the plate.

I use the moment's distraction to glance around the room. The rows and rows of tables are full of men and women chatting excitedly, but my eyes land easily on a lone figure sitting at an otherwise empty table. Michael. Just as I spot him, another man approaches and sits across from him. _He's making friends already?!_ I sip at my tea and allow only a few sidelong glances here and there. When I see Michael stand and leave only to come back a moment later, I'm a little disgruntled. The thought of inviting him to my table hadn't crossed my mind considering we weren't supposed to really be _friends_, but I had an annoying curiosity as to what they were talking about. His head swivels around the room and I avert my gaze to my tea, suddenly _very_ interested in the amber colors. When I glance back, he's engaging again in conversation with the man. He must not have seen me.

Hanji has finished the enormous amount of food in a matter of minutes, and so we take our leave. As I exit the mess hall, I note with annoyance that Michael is still occupied at his table. Hanji splits off in the hallway for the usual post-breakfast shower. Accustomed to this strange routine, I just move along back to my own quarters.

I spend the day preparing choice materials for that evening, inwardly happy with the legitimate excuse to think of Michael more often than I should; thought denying it to myself all the while. I draft up a few letters to various underground contacts, and send them out immediately and discreetly. I have five days to get things prepared for the trainee induction ceremony.

When night comes around, Michael taps on my door in the usual tentative fashion. Seeing him again reminds me of the morning, and I'm a little too tense as I lecture him. I'm certain that my voice is overbearing and I've been speaking quickly, but he doesn't seem to mind and nods along as I go. I brief him on his schedule for the next few days. I've chosen a task he should be able to do without incident; laundry duty. "In the afternoons is lunch and free time. There's a training room on the first floor at the end of the south corridor, feel free to use it when you have time. You'll attend dinner, then evening cleaning duties. After those are finished, come here without anyone seeing you just as you have been." He nods but doesn't offer any words. I stand throughout the entire session, unable to relax and sit. When time is up, Michael seems distracted and hardly notices it when I say, "Goodnight, Misha." As I had the night before. I'm disappointed in his lack of response.

Why, though?

Why does it bother me that some random guy I've only just met hardly pays me any mind? Do I really care so much if he makes another friend? Of course I care, he's not supposed to stand out! But even as I rationalize it in my head, I know that's not truly the reason I'm annoyed. Again, I sleep terribly that night.

The next morning goes by as usual. Hanji makes a fuss and we part ways after breakfast. I spot Michael sitting with his new _friend_ again, and I watch as they leave together as well. Again, he doesn't notice me at all. I glare at every soldier who passes me on the way to my room, certain a few of them have pissed themselves after I've gone.

There's a letter waiting for me on my desk, and I open it. It's a reply from one of my contacts.

_Levi,_

_I haven't heard from you in two years, and this is what I get? I expect nothing less from you, in the end. I've looked into your request and it should be possible. I won't ask what you need it for, I know better than that, but be careful. This is risky business you're playing with. I'll have the requested things to you within the time limit. Next time, try and at least ask how the kids are doing, eh?_

_X_

I scoff at the writing. At least he's discreet. I burn the letter anyway, letting it fall into the trash bin. Having pre-prepared all of tonight's materials, I get to work on my _actual_ assignments, which keep me busy until afternoon. The lunch bell sounds, and I wash my hands twice before eating alone. I don't see Michael. Not that I'm looking. I try to find something else to think about and all that comes to mind is the dirt under my fingernails and when the last time this table was washed could have been. There's a small group at the table next to me; three men and a woman I recognize from another squad. Their voices are loud and animated.

"What's with that one guy anyway? He's creepy as shit 'f you ask me." One of the men says with an ugly sneer. He's tall, with blonde cropped hair. If I had to guess, he looks to be the oldest.

"Why? What happened?" The woman chimes in.

This time, a shorter man with plump cheeks answers through a mouthful of food. "That's right! You wouldn't know, Nila, since your barracks are in the other building."

"Yeah, well, who's creepy?"

"He's talking about that guy Michael. Your bunk is right next to his, right?" A totally plain looking guy chimes in; pointing his fork at the older man.

Ugly-Shit nods his head. "Yeah. That day he came back from the expedition with-" he glances around and lowers his voice; I look as inconspicuous as possible. "With the heichou. He was acting like he didn't know a damn thing, and that night he didn't sleep at all. I thought it was probably just nerves, but then the next night he did the same. He just sat on top of his bed and stared at the wall all night. Never even moved the blankets. You'd think he wasn't even there. Creepy fuck's like a ghost or something."

The woman's mouth hangs open in thought, and the other men just nod their heads. The Plump One man takes a turn. "Yeah, his bunk is underneath mine as well. He's never said a word to any of us."

"Creepy for sure…" The woman looks utterly disgusted.

I tune the rest of their gossip out, focusing on the facts. Michael isn't sleeping? If he rarely sleeps, than his surprise after awakening from his nap in my room the other evening makes sense. Perhaps I should ask him? _No fucking way._ And what? Tell him that some fuckheads he doesn't even know are talking shit about him? I'll pass.

I stand abruptly and clear my tray. I can see the group suddenly looking nervous and avoiding looking my way. They must have realized I was sitting close by. Regardless, I need to move on. I wash my hands twice and head to my room to work out.

I refuse to use the training room, covered in the grease and dirt from countless soldiers as they trek in and out carelessly. Instead, I make use of the small floor space of my room. At least I know it's clean to my own expectations. I do rounds of stationary strength training and cardio, and hate myself a little more every time I stop to towel off my sweat. Which is at least every two minutes. The workout provides an adequate distraction; I manage to forget about the rest of the world for a while. Unfortunately, it never lasts long enough. There's a knock at the door.

"Yeah?" I swing the ratty thing open and my eyes meet the broad chest of my superior. "Erwin."

I turn away and walk into the room. I never invite him, yet he always walks in regardless. I towel the back of my neck and run the cloth through the rough stubble at the back of my head. Erwin sits at my desk and watches me, menacingly. There's a long silence, and I refuse to break it first. We lock eyes for a time.

Finally, he sighs. "Levi." He crosses a leg and raises an eyebrow at me. Suddenly, I feel like a child being scolded. _Asshat._ I continue to ignore him; not daring to make assumptions until I know his reason for coming. "Your report explaining what happened during the expedition was expected yesterday. You seem distracted." He pushes some fake concern into his voice that I dutifully overlook.

"If that's all you want, it's right here. Of course I had it finished on time, but frankly I didn't feel like seeing that smug face of yours, so I opted not to hand it over. Take it and go." I've removed the report from a desk drawer and I drop it down in front of him. When I turn away to finish toweling off my sweat, I hear his footsteps receding out the door.

"Take care, Levi." The door shuts. I shower again and curse audibly at the thought of Erwin.

Night time comes quickly, and Michael arrives at the usual time and with his usual soft knock. We begin with little chatter, and I find myself anxious to get the lesson over with. I see his tense and tired face and compare it to his more lively expressions from this morning. I wonder why he hasn't shown me his lighter side recently. _Has he decided against me? Did my plan to send him away upset him so much?_ I contemplate asking him casually how he's sleeping, but decide that isn't my place. After he's gone, I lay in bed wondering if he's just sitting there again; staring at the wall as I stare at my ceiling.

It's aggravating how he invades my thoughts. A part of me wonders what I thought about before I met Michael. Without really thinking, or perhaps too frustrated to think, I throw off my covers and slip on a simple outfit. I softly walk down the stairs, careful not to let the aged boards creak too loudly. The barracks are separated into three large rooms, A, B, and C, which have no doors or privacy to speak of. I recall Michael being in section C, so I slip in just enough to get a view of the room in the dark. Once my eyes have adjusted, I walk steadily down the long aisle of bunks but I don't see him, or at least I only see soundly sleeping soldiers. If Michael is awake, he isn't here, and my suspicion is confirmed when I get to the last two bunks. The left, lower bunk is empty, and the bed next to it holds the ugly shit-face from lunch. Michael's cot looks crisp and completely untouched, as expected.

After much deliberation, I decide to check outside; knowing I won't sleep even if I return to my room now. The cool air sends a chill through me and I regret not grabbing my cloak. As I survey the area wondering where to look first, a light catches my eye in the stables. _That was easy. Not exactly subtle, Misha._

I approach quietly, realizing I have no idea what I actually plan to say to Michael if I find him here, awake. When I peek in, I don't see him in the aisle but instead spot the lit candle atop a stall door. My ears don't pick up any sounds, so I continue forward cautiously. I look into the stall and see him there, lying peacefully against his horse's side. A weight lifts upon seeing his sleeping form. At least I know he's resting, after all. I ignore the nagging thoughts about the dirt and mud, and _horse crap_; concentrating instead on his face. Like this, I recall his sleeping face atop my desk. Close enough to feel his warmth. To touch. I take a moment to drink it in before returning to my room, where I manage a bit of sleep after all.

The next day passes under a pile of paperwork and continued correspondence with my Underground contacts. A requested item arrives for me. That evening, I welcome Michael in the usual fashion and we get right to work. I don't sit beside him anymore; too afraid of what I may do when my strange new emotions surface. When he sees the notes I've written him, he becomes visibly distracted. I watch him for a time without his noticing, but when he turns to look toward me, my eyes train themselves firmly to the work atop the desk. He doesn't seem to be listening to me any longer, and irritation bubbles in my stomach.

"You okay? Getting all of this?"

He shifts away from me, and I add pain to the list of weird feelings going on inside. His voice is uneven when he says, "Yeah, I got it. Just a little tired, I guess. Please continue." And now I am sure he's upset with me somehow.

I can't fight the urge to get close any longer, and I lean in just enough to quell the turmoil in my stomach. Under the guise of cleaning up, I bask in the presence while I have the chance. "Forget it. Go get some rest." I know he needs it, even if he ends up in the stables again. My thumb caresses his spine in the most subtle way I can manage. He doesn't seem to notice, and instead continues looking tense. He leaves promptly, and I sigh into the quiet loneliness of my room.

After an hour or so of staring at my ceiling again, I dress and walk downstairs to check on him. My restlessness is getting the better of me, and I hate it. The mere thought of letting someone get this close after so many years of distance is unsettling. I push the thoughts aside. _I'm just going to see if he's alright._

I peek into the barracks but don't enter. Knowing where his bunk is makes things easier; his bed is empty and so I head outside. There is no light peeking through the stable's wooden seams. With a frustrated grunt I decide to walk along the main pathway that leads around Headquarters. The quiet is calming, yet every time my insides settle I begin to think of Michael again; igniting the fires over and over.

As I round the corner of the small secondary building, home to the female barracks and showers, I hear voices. Sliding behind a nearby tree, I quickly locate the source. I can see Michael sitting on a bench about fifteen yards away with his new best friend beside him. I can't make out the words but the atmosphere is worrisome. They both wear a serious expression, and I watch as Michael's hand reaches out to rest on the boy's shoulder. My stomach tightens and the warm fire from earlier has turned ice cold. When the boy's hand meets Michael's as well, it starts doing flips. Angry, murderous flips.

They talk quietly for another moment. Much to my relief their hands separate and they are no longer touching. My own hand twitches at my side, ready to slap myself for lowering my standards to skulking through the shadows; spying like this. I can't look away, however, as I watch the boy's face change from sad to hopeful. His cheeks turn a pink color that makes me cringe. He slides closer to Michael on the bench and before I can tear my eyes away it is too late. They kiss. And it's a _hot_, _passionate kiss_ that makes me sick to my stomach.

It was easy to deny my feelings up until this point. Did I like Michael? Of course not, we've just met and I have little time for those thoughts. Did he make my stomach turn every time I thought about him? Sure. Did my skin burn in places he's touched long after he's gone? Yeah, alright. Did I love the way his complex emotions showed on his face in the privacy of my room every night? _Fuck, I did!_

Did I like Michael? Did I want to storm over to that bench and shove that little shithead off of him, replacing his tongue with my own so that _I_ was the one making Michael's face blush?

_Absolutely._

Before I subject myself to any further torture or go on a murderous rampage, I turn and walk briskly back to the main building. I storm up the stairs, no longer caring who hears me and my old floorboards, and slam my door behind me when I reach my quarters. I don't even think of sleeping that night.

When the next morning comes, I am showered and dressed before anyone seems to have stirred. When I check section C of the barracks, Michael is laying atop the sheets on his cot, poised on his side and facing the wall. I can only assume he's pretending to sleep, for when I walk over to stand beside him there is no movement and no sound of heavy breathing that comes with real rest. I slap him on the back. "Oi. Get up." My voice is cold. So cold, in fact, that no less than three soldiers in the immediate area jolt up at the command. I scoff at them and wave a hand so that they lay back down without a fuss. Michael slowly rolls towards me, and his act is hardly believable when he sits up and yawns.

"What is it, Le-… heichou?" He looks at me, bewildered.

"Get dressed. We're going somewhere." I turn and walk out, leaving him no time for questions or arguments.


	9. Field Trip

Chapter 7 - Field Trip

_Levi_

Michael and I had been riding for two hours before a distinctly animalistic growl came from his stomach beside me. We had been riding in silence; Michael avoided my eyes so obviously that it only served to worsen my mood. The sound of his hunger was the first to break it. I motioned a hand to the left and we idly stepped off of the road, where we then dismounted our horses under the shade of a tree.

We now sit there in the cool shadows, quietly eating the breakfast I brought along. My eyebrow twitches at my own irritation; Michael has yet to look my way or say anything. He offered only a nod in my general direction when presented with the sack containing his meal. I watch him from the corner of my eye while eating, and find myself shocked to finally see him put down his food and turn my way. I turn my head to meet his gaze; suddenly strong and resolute.

After a moment, he clears his throat and speaks. "Levi." He hesitates, and the strength is already fading from his demeanor. "Sir. Um… are you going to tell me what we're doing out here?" His eyebrows have knit themselves together, and his green eyes have diverted their gaze towards the road. I watch as his long fingers weave themselves together in his lap, and the memory of them brushing over the back of another man burns in my chest. This pulls out my anger again, and I ignore his question as a form of punishment. He takes the hint and continues eating.

After we've finished, we continue our journey. It takes another half an hour to reach the town as we continue at our slow pace. Although he never questioned my choice to walk the horses, I could see his confusion. _How could I admit my reasons?_ A journey that would take less than an hour at a full gallop now took us over two; which gave me time to plot out my plans for the day.

The truth was, in fact, I had no idea. In my frustration and exhaustion the night before, I had decided to take Michael away from the compound and _that friend_ of his. I pulled him out of bed before anyone had awoken and even now, the sun had only been up a short while. Aside from one task to tend to, the rest of the day was unplanned. I wonder idly how Erwin will react to the short note I left under his door.

_Going into town. Taking an assistant along.  
Don't miss me too much._

I didn't bother signing it. He would know it was from me.

As we passed various shops and stalls along the streets an idea occurs to me. "This way." I finally speak, and steer the horse to the left into a small alley. A few turns later and we've arrived to a wider alley that's a little cleaner, where we tie our horses to the posts outside and walk into the shop entrance tucked there in the dark. Michael's eyes widen in the dim light and I suppress a smirk. _Why do I enjoy his look of surprise?_ The various mannequins around the shop smell of pine, overlaid with dust and age. The clothing and fabrics atop them, however, are fresh and vibrant. An old man emerges from a back room at the sound of the entry bell.

"Captain Levi! How good it is to see you again. What can this humble man do for you so early in the morning? You know I'm not open yet." He smiles a wide grin towards me, even knowing I'll never return it.

"Aren't you, though, old man?" I trace my fingers over a silky soft cravat on the table nearest me.

He chuckles and inclines his head towards Michael. "For the Captain and his friend, we are always open. Looking for a new cravat today?"

"No. I'm here for him." I slap a hand onto Michael's back; forcing him forward into view for the shop owner's aging eyes. Without word, the old man nods and pulls Michael to the corner; shoving him atop the raised platform surrounded by mirrors. His face is priceless.

"Wait! What? Levi- what the fuck is this!?" The old man is instantly at work; measuring his arms, shoulders, chest, and waist. When the man spreads Michael's legs a bit farther apart and shoves his measuring tape a little _too high_, Michael's voice squeaks and his breathe hitches. I think I see actual _fear_ in his eyes. I can't stop the actual smile that forms on my face, whether it's from amusement or the sweet feeling of vengeance. When his olive colored eyes see me, his face stiffens and I can see a cold sweat forming. _He looks terrified!_

"Levi… why… are you _smiling_?" His voice is shaking and I can see him shifting awkwardly in an attempt to escape the old man.

"You look terrified."

"_You_ look terri_fying_."

My smile disappears in an instant, replaced by the hard line of my sealed lips. He backpedals immediately. "I mean- just- no. I didn't mean that! I mean- you never smile! And all morning you have been angry and hostile and so when you smiled I just thought- oh god, I'm sorry." He hides his pink face in his hands, now content to stay still, hidden behind the tailor.

"Just what makes you think I've been _angry_ and _hostile_?" I raise an eyebrow and tilt my head to the side to illustrate my point; he hasn't shaken me.

"Um. Well. You barely spoke a word to me and won't look at me." The man has finished his measurements and allows Michael to step down from the platform. We watch as he quietly walks back behind a curtain into the room at the back of the shop; which he had emerged from upon our arrival. Michael is now standing a few feet in front of me, awaiting a reply. When I finally bring myself to make eye contact again, I can see worry in his expression. I stand awkwardly, with little idea what to do with my own face.

"I could say the same for you." I settle on a look of indifference. "Forget it. I just had a rough night."

Before we can continue, the old man emerges with his arms full of clothing. He shoves them into Michael's chest until his thin arms come up to take them. "Alright! These should fit you perfectly. Let's try them on, yeah?" I watch as Michael is shoved back onto the platform and disappears behind a heavy curtain; drawn by the old man. He sits behind the counter nearby and motions to an empty chair nearby for myself.

A minute or two passes in silence; only the sound of fabric rustling from behind the cloth blockade can be heard. I notice a few figures passing outside through the foggy windows facing the street. They appear as shadowy apparitions in the early morning light, and the movements cause the sunlight to dance around the musty shop; falling over various shirt stands and accessory racks. The calm atmosphere lulls me and I slip into thoughts I've avoided all night and into the morning.

When I first met Michael, I admit I was intrigued. A human strong and cunning enough to survive among Titans for _years_… but as I've grown to know him more and more, it just doesn't make sense. One moment he is utterly foolish, and the next aloof. Even when laughing I can see hurt behind his eyes. For reasons beyond me, he shuts down with little to indicate _why_. And through all of these strange behaviors, I am unable to see the strong fighter I glimpsed just _once_, when we took down a Titan together. He has been nothing more than a mystery to me, drawing me closer only to bring forth new questions. _Did I like Michael?_ The single thought that bounces through my mind consistently. Our first night together, staring at the stars in that musty loft. I was less than pleased to be stuck in such a place, and listening to his sad story didn't top my list of entertaining things to do. Regardless, I remember hanging onto every word. In normal circumstances, I'd tell him to "suck it up", or "tell it to someone who cares". With Michael, I wanted to know more, and so I comforted him as a way to gather information.

Our second night was light-hearted if you don't count his anger towards my plan of action. I had parted with him that evening thinking we could work to get closer. Each night after brought us together again, but nothing new seemed to surface. Michael began looking more and more distracted, and kept distant. The small glances he _did_ send my way didn't go unnoticed, and something about his shy gazes drew me in. Without any reason, I had grown to like his strange personality and sweet looks. His face was boyish while still hinting at his adulthood; a seasoned man with soft eyes and full lips. He stood only an inch or two taller than me, but his lack of defined muscle made him appear slender and feminine. It wasn't my usual type, yet my skin still lingered near his given the chance.

My hand tingles at the thought; remembering the night before when I brushed his spine, alone in my room. He had been too distracted to notice, again. Uneasiness stirs within me. He must have been thinking ahead to the rest of his night; his time with me wasn't important. In the darkness of the night, seeking warmth in the arms and kiss of someone el-

"I'm done. I guess." His tentative voice cuts through my reverie. A small gasp escapes me when I look up to see him standing there, surrounded by mirrors. _There are four immaculately dressed Michaels standing right in front of me…!_ I stare into his eyes, trying hard to keep my gaze trained there. When he averts his line of sight to the old man in the chair, I seize the opportunity to take in the sight.

He's wearing a white button-down dress shirt; the collar is crisp and standing up against the flesh of his neck. His tan has faded in his days spent indoors, but just enough lingers that the contrast is perfect between his skin and the shirt. My eyes trail down, following each button until they disappear underneath a pair of black slacks; held tightly against his hips with a dark brown leather belt. Each piece of clothing hugs him gently in all of the right places, and I've never had this kind of trouble averting my gaze. When I finally meet Michael's eyes again, he is blushing.

"Uh… why am I wearing this, exactly?" He looks from me to the tailor, and then back to me.

"Don't look at me, I just do what the Captain asks. He's my best customer!" The man does a good job of dodging the blame.

I stand and approach the platform that serves as the perfect metaphor for the pedestal I seem to have placed Michael upon. "You're going to need better clothing for your _trip_ next week." Michael nods imperceptibly. "These fit well, old man. Good job. Get us two more shirts in different colors, and some pants to go with them. Let's also say… one more belt, and two pairs of shoes. One dress and one casual." The man nods and glances at the bear feet peeking from underneath Michael's pants; then begins working his way through the shop. I motion Michael down from the work station and wave a hand towards the rest of the shop. "Find yourself some plain shirts and casual pants, as well."

"Are you certain? This is a lot of stuff…" He surveys the many shelves of folded garments with a nervous look.

I sigh loudly, and run a tired hand through my hair. "Just do it."

After fetching everything I requested, the tailor tallies up the total and I slip him a little extra as a tip for helping out before business hours. Now back in his uniform and carrying the large package containing our purchase, Michael gives a deep bow and thanks the man earnestly. I help tie the bundle to his horse's back and we continue on.

"Thank you, Levi… truly. I must admit this was the last thing I would have expected after being forced from my bed this morning."

"Don't mention it. _Really._" I shoot him a quick smirk, showing that my mood has improved. "That's not why I brought you here; though it needed to be done anyway." We move through the now-busy streets, dodging carriages and rowdy children; ignoring their gazes as well. After walking though the busiest section of town, we come to the emptier streets of downtown. There are no more street stalls, and the children in the street are no longer playing energetically; rather, they sit in the shade of their shabby houses looking hungry. Though I've come here many times, I can never shake the ugly feelings in the pit of my stomach as I remember a childhood spent on the streets of the Underground. We dip into another small alley and weave our way through the shanties until I find the familiar house I've been looking for.

"We're here." I stop suddenly and jump down off of the horse. I walk inside before Michael has even had the chance to dismount.

"Oi! Redden!" I call into the quiet room and await a reply. "I know you're here."

Michael comes in behind me; bowing his head until he notices no one is around. "Where are-"

"Eeeyyyy, there he is! Been a while!" A slender woman who stands a foot taller than me walks excitedly down a flight of stairs. She sweeps her blonde hair back over her shoulder and smiles at me before moving past and right up to Michael. "Heeeyy, you didn't tell me he was so _cute_! Just look at that face!" She's got his cheeks in a tight hold before I can move to stop her, and the pain on his face is palpable.

"You think _that's _cute?" _He is. _"Knock it off, you filthy wench." She just laughs and releases him; placing her hand instead on his shoulder.

"Hi there, Michael, I'm Elise Redden. Nice to meet you. Levi's told me about you. The mysterious friend in need of _help._" She turns to walk back across the room, and Michael comes up beside me with wide, questioning eyes.

"Oh yeah. He needs _lots_ of help, alright. Let's get this over with." I grab his elbow and lead him over to the table near the kitchen where she sits. When I push him into a chair he winces; and I instantly regret how rough I was.

Redden pulls some items from a drawer and sits beside him. I watch as her nimble fingers open a jar of ink and paint a small coat onto a smooth, square stone. She reaches for his hand and he flinches; retracting it quickly and looking to me, as if for permission. "Uh- I don't-…. I'm not really comfortable with… with touching. Can you just tell me what to do?" I try to hide my bewildered face, but he isn't looking anymore. _Doesn't like to be touched? What about all those times he touched me… or _that _guy?_ A small bubble of anger resurfaces. _Maybe it's actually that he doesn't touch women, but he's being polite…_

"That's fine, hunny, just press each of your fingers into the ink here and then press them into the boxes on that paper there. Make sure you keep it steady, we need those prints to be clear and clean." When I hear her say 'hunny', I'm reminded of our days in the UG. We were both young then, and she was just a tag along in my gang. She used to call everyone hunny back then, even me despite my misgivings. When I eventually joined the Survey Corps I lost track of them all, but found Redden here purely by coincidence. Turns out some _do_ make it out of there. She's been making her living as an informant and go-between; choosing to go only by Redden these days rather than the sweet and innocent name of Elise. It fit her better, as she was never either of those things.

He nods and complies easily, then gratefully accepts a cloth from her to wipe his hands off. After he is clean and the ink is dry, she has him fill in some of the lines on the paperwork. I note that he is apparently left-handed.

"You've got some funny handwriting, boy." She leans over his shoulder and snatches the paper up. It occurs to me that in our lessons, I never considered his ability to write or if his written language would coincide the same way our spoken language did. _Shit. _Before she can focus on it, I've stolen the paper from her as well and I study it. Though the pen strokes are certainly stylized differently, only a few letters appear unrecognizable to me. The style of his writing can just be attributed to strange handwriting, as Redden has assumed. Those strange characters, however, would need to change.

"Not just that, but your spelling is terrible." I place the paper in front of him again, and lean over him. I dip the pen into the ink and begin to cross out a word here and there. "This word here should look like this. If you write this letter like _this_ it won't be as easily mistaken for something else." My chest brushes his shoulder blades, and he doesn't move away at all. I let my breath fall over his neck and ear as I speak; though he flinches slightly, again he doesn't recoil. _So it is just women? _I hope he is catching on to my lesson and paying attention. When I finish, he nods his head and takes the pen from my hand; his fingers brush over mine continues writing, and what I can see from my position behind him looks correct.

"Sorry, ma'am. I'm mostly self-taught so I still get some things wrong." He plays bashful well, and she seems convinced.

"No worries, hun. You write better than half of the trash out here, anyway." She looks over the document and nods approvingly before placing it to the side and handing Michael another. He systematically fills out each paper, stopping occasionally to glance at me for guidance. When we've finished, an entire fake history has been documented for him, beginning with a forged birth certificate and ending with his military enrollment papers. Redden gathers the papers together and taps against the table top to align them, then sticks them in a large envelope and hands them to him. "Congratulations, Michael. You've been rewritten." He smiles sheepishly and accepts them.

We don't hang around; instead giving brief goodbyes. When we make it back into the busier parts of town, it's lunchtime. I stop at a stall carrying portable meat pies and pastries, buy two of each, and we move on. As we exit town and return to the countryside, the sun is hot overhead. We stop underneath the same tree from the morning to eat our lunches and cool off.

"Thank you again, Levi. For everything. Not just today, but every day; you've taken me in and spent both time and money on me. I've been a burden. I wish there was a way for me to repay your kindness." He stares at the food in his hands. _Kindness._ I scoff at the thought; unaccustomed to anyone associating the word with myself. His attention is directed at me again as he asks, "What? Something I said?"

"I don't think anyone's ever thanked me so much before, and I've definitely never been called kind."

"They're full of shit then. You've been nothing but kind to me. Even in the moments when we've disagreed, it's been due to my own thick-headedness. I've caused you trouble."

"Oi, don't get any ideas. I'm doing this for my own sake. You've brought irreplaceable information to me that I will use as soon as the opportunity arises. Not to mention your value as a soldier. I'll use that as well." I've finished my lunch and occupy myself by watching the sky; concentrating on a few birds soaring freely by.

After a moment of quiet, Michael speaks in a low, soft voice. "Use me as you will." The phrase holds a weight that I'm not ready to consider. We sit and watch the birds. "It's pretty amazing how they fly, isn't it? Even outside the walls where I was free, I envied them. Rarely do they have to worry about the turmoil happening below them. They are above it all." His smooth voice has lulled calm into me, and I feel content to stay in this spot beneath the tree for as long as I can. The feeling doesn't last long, however, as good feelings rarely do for me. The questions lurking in the back of my mind are fighting to come out.

"Mich-…" I stop myself and reconsider. I want his answer, and so I should speak carefully. "Misha… you've seemed distant these last few days. Something on your mind?"

He is visibly surprised at my question, and I can't blame him. After a moment of consideration, he answers. "I guess… you could say I don't sleep well. You'd think that would be normal considering how I've been living, but…. Since coming here it has been difficult."

"Is that all? Just a lack of sleep?" I try to lighten the mood with a joking tone, but his face remains serious.

"I guess… I'm anxious about leaving. I'm just beginning to feel adjusted with everyone at headquarters… and now I will have to leave and make new connections all over again."

A heat rises inside me; a shadow of irritation. "Speaking of connections… you don't like to be touched? Since when? You had no problem clinging to me, or that new friend of yours…" I turn my face away so he can't try to read my expression.

"You mean Kip? Not really. He's a good guy, I guess, but I don't really know him very well. I just mean the change in routine will be a bit annoying. As for you, Levi…. That's different…"

I only heard the first half of his reply, and speak before I have to hear anything more. "Well enough to kiss him." _Shit. I said it. Fuck!_ I stand and busy myself with my horse. "We should go; we've been out longer than planned." I feel a hand on my elbow and the force behind it when I'm spun around is surprising. Michael is staring down into my eyes with a pained expression, obviously confused. I perfect my indifferent mask. "What?"

"How-… were you _following _me?" He looks betrayed and I swear again for ever saying anything.

"How was I supposed to know you'd interrupt my walk with a sight like _that_. I was enjoying the peace and quiet until I noticed you two lovebirds. Hope you had a fun night." I shake his hand off and mount my horse. Before I can kick my heels in and run away, he grabs the reigns to stop us.

"You didn't see everything, I take it." He isn't looking my way and that suits me just fine.

"Like hell I'd stick around and _watch_; sorry, but that's not my thing."

"He kissed me… and for a moment I kissed back. But I stopped him; I didn't want that to happen. I had a weak moment, but it's not like that. In fact, after turning him down like that he probably won't want anything to do with me again." A pressure in my chest is relieved, and I hadn't realized how much it had still been bothering me. Regardless, there was no reason for me to be upset.

"Why should I care? Do what you like. Either way, you're leaving after tomorrow. So make your peace and move on or whatever." That's right, he was leaving. No matter what feelings I had, I wouldn't see him again for three years at least. That was assuming we both lived until then, even.

He nods, looking forlorn, and releases my horse. We gallop the remaining distance to Headquarters in silence.

After returning, I carry Michael's things in to avoid strange glances; stowing them in the compartment near his bed while the others had cleaning duties. Inside the trunk lay only his old folded cloak and two swords; the relics of his past. I'm careful not to disturb them. Afterwards, I enjoy a shower and retreat to my room for the evening. I pass Erwin in the hall and he grants me an acknowledging nod and a smirk. The way he always looks so smug and composed irks me, and I spend the next hour in a sour mood. Despite spending the day together, Michael arrives on time for his nightly lecture.

I have him copy paragraphs from a handbook containing military operations, as well as take notes when I speak. Both to teach him the subject as well as to straighten out the small differences in our alphabets. When he's filled a page, I can see the improvement between the first paragraph and the last. His handwriting has adapted quickly and he seems to recall which letters should be substituted. There's only one issue to note; the presence of an extra character at the end of some sentences on the parts that he wrote from listening.

"What is this?" I point to the symbol hanging off of the end of his last sentence.

"Oh… I'm sorry; I hadn't even realized I was doing that. This may be harder than I thought… "He begins erasing the symbols one after the other. "It's used to indicate the importance of the sentence. Sort of like a marker to say, 'this is really important so never forget it'; we used it during note taking in school so I kind of did it without thinking…"

I begin to understand what he means. "Why not just underline it?"

"Underline it? Is that what your people do? That just sounds sloppy and time consuming. A simple symbol is much easier and neater." He has a point, but I scowl at him as though I've taken offense.

"Whatever." He chuckles; apparently seeing through me. We continue on until the usual time, and slowly run out of things to review. "Well, I really don't have anything left to teach you. You've memorized everything expertly. You won't need to come up tomorrow; this is your final lesson." _I don't know if I could handle seeing you on your last night, after all._

"Expertly, huh? Praise from the almighty Captain!"

"Don't be a little shit, Michael." He winces at the use of his proper name but I wave it off. For the first time in a few days, I pull up the spare chair and sit beside Michael at the desk. He slips a hand into his jacket pocket and withdraws the familiar flask.

"In that case… a drink?" My eyebrow rises in amusement but I nod my head. _Why the hell not._ He takes a large swig and passes it to me.

I stare at the rim of the flask for the second time. All that comes to mind are the various bacteria undoubtedly crawling over it, and although I've pressed my lips to it before I cannot ignore it this time to do the same. Michael looks questioningly at the teacup I pull over from the corner of the desk, and chuckles when I pour in the liquor. I bring the cool edge of the cup to my lips and sip the bitter liquid. Trying to divert his attention elsewhere, I address Michael. "I'm taking you off of laundry duty for tomorrow. It's your last day, so use that time however you like; just don't use it doing chores. If anyone questions you, just tell them that the Captain gave the order."

"Is this because of Kip?" His voice is quiet, but lighthearted and airy. I feel myself loosening up the slightest bit, as well, and manage the closest thing to an honest answer as I can.

"Partly." I shrug and try to feign interest in the plain walls of the room. "I just don't like him. If he forced himself on you, you should be relieved." There was a long silence; Michael neither confirming nor denying the situation. When he speaks again, it's a bare whisper and he sounds nervous.

"Even though… this is the final lesson…" he stops and clears his throat, but doesn't continue. I look at him and incline my head with a _go on_. "Uh. Could I still come by tomorrow evening? Before I leave?" A small discomfort presses at my chest. I definitely wanted to avoid that. Yet, when he asks me with his own voice my heart does a very unfamiliar flip.

"Sure. I'll be here as always." I finish off the last of my liquor and tip my cup towards Michael, who refills it obligingly before lifting it into the air between us.

"To new beginnings. Thank you, Levi." I reluctantly follow suit, clinking my cup gently to the metal, and we drink. When we run out of liquor, it's well into the night. Our words are sluggish, but otherwise, we remain unimpaired. Michael leaves quietly but I don't get up from the desk. Instead, I find myself lost in his handwriting on the papers scattered in front of me; thinking about the three years ahead.

AUTHOR NOTES:  
Hello, everyone! I often forget to include notes here as the process is different from other sites! Forgive me. Please feel free to message me any time, I love your feedback and it means the world to me! Thank you to those who offer their support! If you follow this story but haven't said anything, please let me know with even a single word, because that is what keeps me motivated. I post this story on AO3 as well, so if any of you frequent both, feel free to support me there as well! :)

P.S. This chapter came out to exactly 5k words :O


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